Faces (Lannan Eacott) *Under Editing*

Twenty-Nine

      It had been two days. Two days since Lannan crawled into his bed and refused to move for anything. I couldn't imagine the pain he was going through. All I knew is the pain that came with the aftermath of war, or the dreadful feeling of what was to come. Lenny hadn't mentioned specifics, but I could tell the situation was grim when I knelt beside his bed and he couldn't bare to look at me. He was inevitably broken and all the love in the world couldn't stitch him back together. As for myself, I'd spent the last two days staring at the clock on the wall. How bad was it? Maybe there's a chance he could win the war. But part of me knew it was naive to believe such a lie. I'd been in this position before. I knew what was to come.

      Lannan didn't know this disease as well as I did. It had came for Easter and found a place to stay inside my home. It tore my family apart and took my mom with it when it's game became boring. I knew this illness as if it were an old friend. Sitting here now I could feel my heart slowly cracking once more. You have to speak to him. God. Say anything. Yell. Scream. Cry. But do not let him face this alone. I tried to place myself in his shoes but the boy I had fallen in love with was fighting an internal battle that most may never have to face.

      I began to brainstorm ideas. What could I do to make this less painful? Then it hit me. Bucket list. Lannan and I had mentioned before a few things we had on our bucket list. One of his being the most cliche.

Past

      "Lenny, what's on your bucket list?" He scoffed and lifted out tangled hands up and grazed his eyes over them.

      "I'm not sure. I never really thought about it." I shifted my body closer, now nearly on top of his. "I think it would be pretty cool to be in two places at once." I giggled and a smile etched itself onto his face. "What, baby?" I shrugged.

      "Like 'A Walk To Remember''?" He nodded. "I could arrange that." He rested his head on top of mine, now playing with our fingers.

      "What's on yours?" A soft sigh escaped my lips and once again I shrugged. "You have to have at least one thing, babe." As I sat quietly, I began thinking of what I really wanted to do before my time was up. The slight distraction of Lannan running his thumb across the back of my hand left me in a trance. "Anything in the world." I knew he wouldn't let up until I told him at least one thing that I wanted to do. So I began to think.

      "I've always wanted to visit Hawaii." He raised an eyebrow. "My mom was suppose to go to Hawaii when she younger but she chose to have a baby." I felt the tears beginning to form and used my free hand to wipe them away. "I always promised she would get her trip to Hawaii. I just never got the chance to get her there." Lannan dropped my hand and pulled me in for a hug.

      "Don't worry, baby. You'll get your trip to Hawaii and I'll be the first person to be in two places at once."

Present

      Smiling at the memory I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Little did I know in that moment how much I would relate to a love story that ended in tragedy. He could survive this. Stop. Shaking away the thought, I began to write down a list. Everything Lannan told me he wanted to do. I was on number 24 when I heard the bedroom door creak open. Looking up from my list my eyes locked on his. That beautiful brown I would never grow tired of. He looked weak. His face now a palish color.

      "Baby, you need to eat." He raised his hand and motioned it towards me as if to say 'why bother'. "Lenny, I know you're upset, but starving yourself won't help the sit-"

      "Babe, please. Just let me hold you." Sighing, I opened my arms to him. To which he immediately fell into. "I love you, Sam. I love you so fucking much." And I knew he meant it. The first night was the hardest. He would wake up consistently screaming for me. I knew he feared that I would leave in the night. Make my escape when he was most vulnerable. No matter how many times I promised him I was staying, he always held onto me just a little bit longer. I could sense what he was thinking. I'm sick. She won't want to be with a sick person. But the both of knew in our hearts that wasn't true. Lannan was mine as I was his. He held my heart between his trembling fingers and even when they grew weak and began to let go, the faith I had in us kept him holding on. "Sammie?" He pulled away from our embrace and took a seat in front of me. "I need you promise me something." I nodded. "If something happens to me," he paused. "When something happens to me, please take all the love you have for me and give it to someone who needs it. I'm so damn selfish in life with it, I can't be selfish in death too."

      "Baby, nothing is gonna happen. We're gonna fight this. The Lannan Eacott I know doesn't go down without a fight. And you can be real stubborn when you want to be." He chuckled. "Think of the stories we will tell our kids." I noticed his eyes glaze over and immediately rested my hand on his cheek. "You're not going anywhere, my love. No matter what happens, I'm here. I will always be right here." His face broke out into a smile and I couldn't help but notice how in love with him I truly was. A year ago I was in a dark space. A hole I couldn't get out of. And now, I was sitting in front of the boy who picked up all my broken pieces, and no matter how many times he cut himself on the sharp edges, was happy he got the chance to glue them back together.  "I love you, Lenny." He leaned forward, slowly pressing his lips against mine.

      "I love you, Sam." People had always told me true love didn't exist. Finally, I knew they were right. True love ends in tragedy. Unconditional love doesn't end. It continues to give and give till its light had burned out. And Lannan's light dimmed a little more with each passing day.