Twenty-Six

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      "Tannar, you have to help me." I was right on her heels. I could feel her trying to pull away from me. She wasn't up for this conversation but I needed her help. "Tannar!" She halted in her tracks and spun on her heels to look at me.

      "What, Lannan? You want me to undo your wrongs? You cheated on that girl and for what? She was texting her ex, you fucked yours! I can't make this right for you. You made your choice, deal with the consequences." And with that she turned and sped away from me. I knew it was 50/50 asking for her help and although her and Sammie had never properly got on, part of me knew she would deny helping me. She had her morals.

      I was sat on my couch with my phone in hand scrolling through Twitter. I came across a tweet from Sammie and my thumb hovered above her name. I wanted to look through her page, but I was afraid of what I would find. After a few seconds I clicked on her name and what popped up made my heart sink. She was smiling in the picture. Her hands folded neatly in her lap. She wasn't alone. His arm was draped loosely around her shoulders and his lips were pressed firmly against her cheek. She had added a caption to it.

      Forever with you wouldn't be so bad ❤️

     I found her number and dialed it. It rang twice before sending me to voicemail. I called four more times before finally realizing she wouldn't pick up. Before I could realize what I was doing, my feet were carrying me to my car. I knew exactly where I needed to go. Within minutes I was sitting in her driveway. Her car was parked in its normal spot and looked as if it hadn't been moved for days. I stepped graciously out of the car and made my way to her door. As soon as I lifted my hand to knock it opened.

     "Lannan? What are you doing here?" her eyes met mine and for a second it felt as if the world had stopped. It had been days since I had seen her in person. Yet, she looked as beautiful as the second I spotted her at the airport. "Lannan you need to leave. I need space." Finally, I could feel myself coming back to reality.

      "Sammie, I can't. I can't keep acting like this is normal. This doesn't feel right and I know you can't tell me it does." I reached out and took one of her hands in mine before placing it on my chest and holding it there. "Samantha, I love you. Every fucking beat of my heart is for you. The day you left my apartment, my world shattered. I wasn't heartbroken, I was destroyed. And I know it's my fault. Baby, I know it's my fault and I wish I hadn't hurt you that way." she sighed and I watched as her eyes darted to something, anything, besides me.

      "You knew what he did to me. You knew how much it broke me, and you turned around and did the same thing." I could feel her hand beginning to tremble in my own. "You're just like him, Lan. And you swore you would never be that person."

      "Sam, nothing happened with Ilsa. Yes, we slept in the same bed and I never denied it happening. But Sammie, I would never in my life give myself to someone else in that way while I had you. You're the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. And I am so goddamn sorry that I broke your heart. But I am not him and I never will be. Please come back to me. I will do anything in my power to prove to you that I will never hurt you again." I paused moving my other hand to cradle her cheek. "You're the one person in this world that doesn't make mine feel so empty." and with those words she pressed her lips forcefully against mine. My fingers tangled in her hair refusing to let her pull away in fear that she might slip away once more. It felt like hours before we finally pulled back.

      "I didn't believe you about your heart beating for me. Then I felt it." a smile etched onto her face. The smile that I had fallen in love with months before. I couldn't feel the pain that came with the destruction I had caused. In this moment, it no longer existed. It was just us. Her hand still pressed against my chest and mine carelessly tangled in her hair. We didn't speak but I could hear her words loud and clear.

      "I love you. I love you so fucking much"

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