You didn't have to open your eyes, nor to hear him speak, to know that he's not okay.
The mattress you were lying on dipped under his weight as Jimin sat down, his movements somewhat heavy, sloppy. A quiet sigh escaped him when he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to his chest wordlessly. His face buried in the nape of your neck, demanding nothing but the warmth of your body, the comfort only your presence could provide him with.
"Baby, what happened?"
You rolled over to face him, reaching to brush his hair off his face, still a bit dump from the sweat. It must have been a hard day for him, having practiced for long hours. You glanced at the electric clock on the nightstand – it was almost three in the morning, and knowing him he'd have to leave in the early morning again. An idol's life was busy, but you could tell, it's not the tiredness that weighed on him, it was some sort of stress and tension that you could actually try to help him with, and so you attempted to.
"I don't feel good" he suddenly announced, somehow not daring to look at your face.
"Did something happen?" you asked again.
"I don't know" he simply stated. You rubbed his cheek soothingly, slowly easing him into the explanation, because you knew that he just needed time to put it all together in his own head.
It didn't take long before he spoke again, voice slightly trembling.
"I'm just... worried. About myself. About us. About all that... I just feel like it's not... not..."
"Not good enough?" you finished for him, knowing well enough what kind of state he was in, having heard this phrase so many times before. Jimin was a fragile and sensitive person. So many things bothered him, so many things he was afraid of, and being put in as stressful position as he lived in, did no good to him either. But he knew that, in times of need, he could go to you, or to Taehyung, or any other of his friends, and you'd always be there to reassure him. And you felt relieved that even though it was your relationship he was worried about this time, he still wanted to talk to you about it, he still looked for your words of reassurance, your warmth, your help.
"Aren't I?" he asked in a small voice, and at this point he was shaking. Too much emotions piled up in him, too much for him to bear. He looked like a small puppy, put in the cruel world to deal with all its heartless expectations.
"You're the best I'd ever ask for, baby" you announced, cupping his face and making him look at you. Your calm expression set him slightly at ease, grounded him. "There's nothing I'd rather have more than what I already have with you, okay?"
"Me too, I..." His voice quivered, but he continued nonetheless. "Our relationship is the most important thing in my life. I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose you."
"And you won't. Jimin, You're doing just so great now. You came to me, you trusted me enough to tell me about all that. And I'm here, I want to help you, I want to give you what you need, so lean onto me whenever you need, and remember, I love you for who you are, not because I want you to be any different. I want you to feel good with yourself, but no matter who you ever become, I'll keep loving you. So don't be afraid of yourself, okay?"
His breath gradually slowed down, his muscled relaxed a little, and his head rested limply on the pillow underneath. He closed his eyes, exhaling.
"I'm so tired" he admitted.
"Then sleep" you fixed the blankets, covering him with them, not caring about the daily attire he still had on instead of pajamas. "I'll keep you safe" you added, to which he smiled softly.
"Thank you" he muttered sleepily.
"You don't have to" you answered, placing a simple good-night kiss on the top of his head. Your hand found his, your fingers tangling with his own and squeezing them gently. "Sleep well, Jimin."
But he didn't reply, as the fatigue already took over his body, giving him the sense of relief that only long-awaited slumber could provide.
