His Girl

How

"This is why I didn't want you to come here. I can't be anywhere near you." He was stroking my hair, kissing me between words.

"I need you." I had two handfuls of his t-shirt.

"Don't you see how bad this is for you? You were here how long and you almost got..." He looked up, his eyes misty. "Do you know what I'd do if anything happened to you?" The tension rolling through is body was palpable.

"Then, you can just come see me at my place." I held both of his hands, our interlaced fingers playing with one another.

"How long until your mom wants to know more about me? What are we going to do then? Or when you're ready to go to college? It's going to break at some point. I told her I'd look out for you, remember? If I was looking out for a girl like you, the first thing I'd do is chase me away."

I shook my head, trembling with emotion.

"When my dad was sick, he never mentioned regret about not following more rules."

His eyes closed, he pulled me to him, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"I'm not sure I know what to say to that."

"Say you want to be with me." I was softly tasting the skin on his neck. "Hmm?"

"I want to be with you, Chanel. My god do I want to. When you let me touch you and we connect, it's like..." He was swallowing words again.

"Like what?" I had to know right then. I desperately held him, begging with my eyes and my whimper, my body against him. He shook his head and bit his lip.

"When someone like you loved me, it felt like..." he was struggling. His words crackling with emotion. "Like, hope. That I might be more than, more than just this." A tear escaped his eye and rolled toward me.

"Oh Breaker," I was kissing him furiously. He reciprocated but I felt him hesitating.

"But it's not, Chanel. It's not going to magically it change me, it's just going to bring you down."

"I'm going to be with you. If you push me away, I'll just come back. I'll find you." We were smiling, I leaned my head back, my lips parted.

"What are we going to do when your mom and Bill want to double date and they ask me about myself, about my life?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"My mom and Bill aren't dating. What do you mean double date? He's her boss."

"Chanel, Chanel, Chanel...you're so cute." He squeezed me to him. "So naive and so cute."

My face grew hot and red again. I felt stupid. I gulped. Why did that hurt?

"Well then she's dating her boss, that's kind of fast after my dad." My pain showed.

"Maybe they're as scandalous as us." He smiled.

"Yeah, if they're what you're worried about," I grunted. "They can just shut up. She's been lying to me."

"Shut up?" He looked contemplative, "That's a solid plan." We both laughed.

"Well, then?"

"What?"

"Are we good?" I looked down, holding my breath.

"Good? No."

I looked back up, I couldn't withstand another wave of heartbreak.

"We're not good, we're a mess. But I guess you're my mess."

"Oh, yes! Breaker!" I was climbing him, kissing my way up until he was holding me, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

"What are we doing?" He shook his head.

"I don't know, I don't care." I was all over his face, ears, neck. He leaned my back against the car door, his weight pressing on me. His deep kisses left me breathless.

"Mmm," he groaned in my ear. "I want to take you somewhere right now."

"Yeah. Wait. Have you been with that Amber girl?" We were back on and he had some explaining to do.

"Huh?" I sensed guilt in his reaction.

"Oh god." Aching in my heart.

"Why are you even asking that?"

"She says you were good friends and her ex."

He laughed animatedly.

"No. Have I been drunk and lonely? Yes, but I haven't been with her."

"I don't understand."

"I've never laid in a bed with her. Does that help?"

I stared at him blankly, I did not understand.

"Have you been seeing anyone." He put one hand on his hip, playfully.

"You're not serious."

"I don't know, it's been a while and you have needs."

"Breaker!"

"Say it."

"Humph." This was so unfair. "Of course I haven't and I never would! And you know that."

"Yeah I do." His mouth was over mine, devouring my lips with a kiss.

"Let's go inside." We'd been an outdoor spectacle long enough.

"Not here, no," he said.