Nightmares (Short Stories)

Manners

While shopping at the nearest market, Jodi was approached by a loud woman claiming to be a neighbor from "down yonder." Jodi doesn't recall ever meeting this boisterous woman, but feels the conversation and overall encounter would last longer if she claimed to not know the woman. She chose to speed walk down the dairy aisle to see if she could lose her potential sanity kidnapper.

She did not walk fast enough for the determined woman.

"Jodi! Jodi, dang woman! Slow down. You walk like your ass is on fire and you are wearing a Versace ball gown and it just rained heaps leaving mud even a pig wouldn't go near."

"No one says that. Can I help you?"

"Bless your heart. You always ask me that. Maybe you have that all's timers or something. Have you tried to get that looked at? My Granny, Jenny, always said that a big ole heap of Vick's every night solves everything. If not, I have some herbs my Auntie Mary Lynn makes in her all natural garden every year."

"Oh yeah? Awesome..."

Turning to leave and hope the conversation died with her awkward reply, Jodi almost made it a step away before the demon started talking again.

"Anyway, did you hear about Becky down the street?"

Slowly turning and forcing her grimace to turn neutral at the forced conversation with a pushy lady, Jodi replied, "Who?"

"Becky. The short, fat one with a hair lip and RBF."

"What is RBF?" Genuinely remotely interested in finding out what that term meant as she had heard it about herself a few times, she stuck around for the answer.

"Oh heavens. You are seriously out of touch. How can you be so young and not know what that is?"

It was at that moment, Jodi realized her mistake. Never engage a hostile. She should have just gone home to Jasper and cuddled on her couch with her computer and Googled the answer.

Jodi thought to herself, 'new plan. Annoy the woman until she leaves on her own.'

"Ummm... so what is it?"

"Resting witch face, but with a B. You got it, right?...It's B. I. T. C. H. It spells... b-itch."

Jodi felt her composure starting to crumble. This woman was a nightmare and hot mess all at once. This went from a potential disaster to D-movie comedy in 2.5 seconds. The serious demeanor on the slightly older version of Rosanne Barr pre weight loss in what could only be described as reject clown clothes for the visually impaired made it even harder to contain her giggles.

"Oh, bless your heart. It's ok. Not everyone can spell too good."

"Oh yep, that's the problem." Jodi let loose a chuckle on accident and tried to cover it up as a hiccup.

"Oh dear, you should really get some Vick's for that cough."

The woman's knobby fingers reached toward Jodi and tested every fiber of her being not to flinch away in utter disgust. The woman just punched her cheeks and finally released them as she continued her speech.

"You probably haven't heard yet so I wanted to make sure you heard. Becky from down the street, she had surgery."

Jodi didn't know Becky or wanted to know what kind of surgery, but she knew it was coming.

"You know, Becky. The pink brick house at the end of Nutbusters Drive."

Jodi really didn't know Becky, but that was her street.

"You mean Oscar?"

"That dog of theirs? That beast of an animal? Ugh they should just put that old thing down. It's got to be getting up to 12 now."

"Yeah... Jasper likes visiting Oscar."

"Jasper?"

"My dog."

"Oh. You have one of those."

"Yes, yes I do. Is there a point to this conversation?"

"That's mighty rude of ya. I was just tryin to be a good neighbor and let you know that one of our own was ill and in need of help. Any little bit would be appreciated. I don't know if they would want anything from you though. Not with that attitude."

The Rosie look a like was sneering at Jodi. Jodi couldn't understand how she ended up being looked at as the horrible person when she was competing against a woman who just said she thought a couple should murder their 2 year old puppy because she thought it was 12 and a beast. This exchange had turned back to the nightmare inducing trauma Jodi expected.

The woman continued on her rant after her brief moment to catch her breath from the excessive talking that seems to have worn her out.

"You need to learn some manners. Maybe you didn't learn them up north or your mama wasn't a good role model. You look like you didn't even have a mama with no make up on. She would have shown you how to always present your best self when out in public. That shirt isn't flattering either. You are too fat to wear it. You should know better."

"Lady, I have tried to be calm, but you're a grade A bitch. Go fuck yourself."

Jodi started to walk off as she heard a gasp and assumed a chest grab from the woman left in the dairy aisle.

A few days later, Jodi has sucked up her resentment toward her neighborhood for harboring such a waste of oxygen in its mist and not notified Jodi to stay clear as any decent human would have.

Jodi walked Jasper down to Oscar's house and delivered a homemade lasagna. Turns out, Becky's surgery was on her lip... to remove a mole that was unsightly.

Jodi left the dish and told them not to bother returning it. The extra five seconds she would have to pretend to not loathe humanity while in that woman's presence was more than she could handle. Becky was a duplicate of the woman in the store. They could have been sisters both because of looks and insulting personalities.

Walking back home with an oblivious German Shepard helped cheer Jodi up a bit.

When she walked back in to see Harper on the couch, sinking his claws into the cushions, Jodi tried to rush over, but didn't make it in time to stop yet another little puncture from the overgrown kitty.

This is where Jodi belonged, in a house with her family and computer. Who needed people when all they did was put her down and gossip? Watching animal planet and taking care of her babies was enough. As soon as she could afford it, she would move to the country to have a farm. She just needed about three more years of saving up her earnings from ClickAChick.com and she would be set.

The one thing Jodi tried not to do was gossip, but she decided to just snap a quick pic of her few regulars who like to watch her perform online. One happened to be Mr. Johnson, Becky's extremely unhappy bisexual husband who loves to sit on the corners of his four poster bed and fuck himself. Maybe that would shut her up.

Or even better yet, the demon woman from today's child. Jodi recognized those facial features before. The man was 32 and lived in his parent's basement. He used the allowance they gave him to pay her to show him her tits and ass. So in reality, the manners police from earlier pays her to show her son her goodies.

In her 32 years of life, she had never thought about outing a viewer, but if she had to deal with those people berating her again, she may have to consider it. Would it ruin their lives if it went public? Possibly. They would just have to live with the nightmare they made for themselves if they had just been a little less rude to Jodi.