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I laid in Christian's lap as we watched my favorite movie; How High. He was on his phone, handling his business while I laughed away at Method Man.
"Babe, I'm gonna head out after the movie for a few hours" he told me. I nodded, I didn't mind him leaving as long as he told me where he was going. Whenever he told me he was leaving any time after midnight, I already what he was going to do.
"Be safe Christian" I said with my eyes still on the movie. He kissed his teeth as he picked up the remote and paused the movie.
"Why do you always say that? I've been with you for two years now and you say that every time. Baby girl no one is dumb enough to try me" he chuckled. I remained silent, he knew why I told him that every night and for him to laugh about it, hurt my feelings.
"Babe, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it that way, but I'm just saying I'll be fine" now we were face to face with one another.
"I don't have a problem with what you do, but I'll never not say it. What you do is dangerous and the fact that you think you're untouchable is what bothers me. I don't want us to end up like my parent's."
"You know I love moms and rest in peace to my OG father in law, but that will not happen. I will never leave you alone on this earth, do you understand me?" he asked. I nodded breaking my eye contact and shifting my head. He placed a finger on my chin, making me look at him. "Jayson, I promise" I felt my heart skip a beat when he said that.
"I know" I gave a weak smile and pecked his lips. My father was shot and killed when I was only a few months old. I don't have much memory of him, but I can feel him. I talk to him in my dreams and before I go to bed at night. I have pictures everywhere in my house and it's like having my guardian angel right next to me.
When my dad died, it broke my mother. That was her soulmate, her forever and the fact that some bum ass nigga took him away from us will always send a rage through my body. He's still supposed to be here, to love my mom, to watch me and my sister grow up, to walk us down the aisle and teach his grandkids things we can't.
"I know you miss him, but he's still with you" Christian said softly as he kissed my forehead. He reminds me so much of my father, it makes no sense. I truly do believe that's why I'm so attracted to him, not physically but mentally and emotionally. His birthday is even a week after my dad's.
"Thank you baby, I love you" I kissed his nose.
"I love you" he wrapped his arms around my body. I got comfortable as he pressed play again and the movie resumed.
