"The Girl You Left Behind"

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The meeting room was full of crime branch officials, chief altan was leading the meeting, he was sitting in the center, cemal sandikci was also seated on the first chair of left row. She was standing at the other end of the table, right in front of altan. After staring at her for a while he started talking.
"We have reasons to believe that our officer bahar berkes's father kamal berkes, who was also a polis officer, was a member of halka and he was a traitor who betrayed us and didn't care about the dignity of his job as a protector.. he not just betrayed us but get our many great cops and investigation officers killed" he stopped in between and looked at bahar. Who was looking at him with disbelief, some of them were looking at altan and some of them were staring at her, she looked at cemal amirim in numbness he averted his gaze and changed his position in the seat.
"Therefore i want to take this case away from bahar hanim as she is the daughter of a traitor and Halka has done enough damage in town we can't risk the security of the whole team and secrecy of the operation" Altan completed with a flat face and stern voice and passed a file to the officers to sign. He then gave the file to cemal to sign, Cemal looked at him as he just woke up from a deep slumber and signed quietly.
"Amirim" her lips moved without any making voice. A tear rolled down her eye.
"Bahar berkes can g submit her weapon and id card and rest at home we 'll let her know after this case that what can be the use of a traitor's daughter in polis" altan said with a taunting smile. All of them looked at her with the judgemental gaze.
She stood numb right there, she wasn't able to move blink, she wasn't able to move at least on muscle, she wanted to make a tight grip on her id card and ran away but her feet were glued to the ground. She slowly took an id card from her jeans and looked at it.
*Bahar Berkes*
Istanbul polis, Crime branch.
"Bahar berkes? submit it to us"
"Bahar berkes?"
She gripped tightly on her id card and looked at him.
"Give it to us bahar" not meeting her gaze Cemal amirim said.
She looked at her, tears were rolling from her eyes.
"Bahar berkes"
"Daughter of kemal berkes"
"Daughter of traitor"
"Istanbul polis crime branch"
"Daughter of kemal berkes..traitor..bahar berkes traitor..bahar berkes.. traitor.."

She opened her eyes with a jerk. Sweat was all over her, even the roots of her hair were wet with sweat. She was really sensitive when it comes to feeling cold she always wraps herself in two blankets before sleeping. Breathing heavily she sat on the bed and removed both the blanket with a jerk. Her head was paining like hell. Wiping the sweat on his face with the back of her hand she took a deep breath. Then turned to the side table to see the time. It was already 7 am. That book was still on her bed beside her. Composing herself she ran her fingers across her hair and tied them in a loose bun and got out of bed. placed the book at the side table, and went to freshen up. Headache and heartache was still there.
***************************************

A car stopped in front of the hospital. she took her jacket from the passageway seat and wear it. after turning off the heater she got out of the car.
temperature was dropping in minus, she locked the car with freezing hands and went inside the hastane. he was in one of the ground floor rooms. as she entered the corridor she found hassan and ahmet outside of the room. as she came to them both of them turned to her.

"Günaydin Komişer" they said together.

"Günaydin, he is awake"? she asked.

in the reply hassan and ahmet, both looked at each other. hassan averted his gaze and Ahmet took a deep breath.

"Hassan what happened," she asked a little bit strictly.

"Komişer he is awake but.. he wants to go so aytik....."
seeing her expressions getting dangerous Hassan left his sentence in the middle. she also didn't wait for him to complete. she headed towards the room. hassan and Ahmet both together stepped aside. she opened the door and without even looking at aytik commanded.

"Aytik go and wait for US outside" not moving her gaze from the person on the she emphasized word us.

aytik turned in a jerk and took a deep breath in relief. person next to him on the bed glared at him. he cleared his throat and walked towards the door. as aytik closed the door behind her she took steps towards the bed.

"What do you want Amirim" she stopped in front of him.

"Not your care certainly" he replied in the same tone. "and we don't work together anymore so you don't need to be formal Bahar Berkes"

she exhaled a deep breath and looked at him quietly. he was saying that he doesn't need her. she looked at him and saw a vulnerable, weak, ill 56 years old man. and as the happiness and peace she saw fading away in this one year, she is seeing another most important man in her life fading away. not like the first one, all of a sudden. he was fading away slowly, eye bags under his eyes became permanent, the skin of his hand was just a thin see-through sheet, showing blue and green veins. shoulders and other joints have become so boney that cant be seen from the hospital gown. he was a petite, vulnerable being sitting in the hospital bed not looking at her at all. just by seeing for a few seconds, a lump was being stuck in her throat. she pulled a stool near his bed and sat on it. She was gathered in a high ponytail.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she held his hand in her both hands.

he was about to pull his hand away but he felt few warm water drops falling on the back of his hand. he tried to pull away but couldn't find the energy to.

"Now why are you doing this to me?" putting his other hand on her hand he asked in an irritated tone.

she was crying looking down a pair of two hands.

"do you know when did we last meet? when did you come without any emergency? you didn't come to visit me at my home, now that I m here and refused to get treatment and kids called you so you came, do I always have to get on the hospital bed to see my daughter?"

his eyes were fixed at the door of the room.
her tears was falling continuously. after a few moments, she left his hands and rubbed his cheeks.

"Don't die," she said in a serious tone, her eyes were red.

a low chuckle left her lips. she was still looking at him, he was smiling but she can see the pain caused by chuckling on his face clearly.

"I was expecting an apology"

"Don't die amirim" she repeated in the same way.

"We can't keep people alive bahar, not by our words, not by our love. one thing we can do is we can keep them near to us, we can love them, we all have to die one day make sure we don't kill them before they die, this is what we work for, this is what the world is made for. one has to give the worries of death and life to god and do what he can, love and care"

inhaling wet breath in she nodded.

"so we are going for treatment and tests?"

he smiled and nodded. she left the stool and went to call aytik.
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Turkish words used and their meaning.

Hastane: hospital

Günaydin: good morning

Komisar: Commissioner

Amirim; Sir, Supervisor.

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