Good for you

9. Smells like hospital

I'm a light sleeper so I woke up to a first sound of alarm. God, I didn't feel like facing Felix in front of everybody.

I got nervous when I saw my house. Deep down, I know I have to do this.

It's only been 8 o'clock. As soon as I opened the door, Ruby ran into my arms. When she raised her head, I realized she was crying.

"What's the matter, Ruby?"

She was barely able to answer through her tears;

"Felix and Maggie left before we woke up. He didn't even say goodbye to us. I'm crying because I'm going to miss him. Who knows when he'll come again?" - I hugged her as hard as I could.

Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room, same sad faces.

"I'm sure he had some reason. Did he leave any messages maybe? Have you tried calling him? "– I was sorry to see them broken like this.

"I don't know where I went wrong while raising him. Leave without saying goodbye. Very low. "– Dad blamed himself.

"I'm going to try to call Maggie." – I immediately took my mobile phone and in a few seconds she answered.

"Maggie, where are you? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? "

"Hey. Umm, you know the reason." – I went into the hallway, so they couldn't hear me.

"Yes, but what the hell should I tell Mom and dad? Ruby's crying because you didn't say goodbye to her. Let him be a turd to me, but he cannot treat them like that."

"Sorry, I shouldn't answer to you. I have to hurry. We're taking off soon." - I didn't get a chance to say anything, she hung up.

"And what did she say?"- Mom asked.

"They're sorry, and she just hung up. They are taking off soon. "

"I have no comment. He'll hear me. "

This is all really about me. I don't have the heart to tell them what Felix did. He saddened them enough. A part of me was hoping to see him and I thought that he would apologize. Or that he would leave me a letter of apology. That he'd at least try to make amends for everything he's done. I was wrong.

We ate breakfast and I went back to bed. Not long after that, Ruby tucked up next to me. We fell asleep like that.

♥

"I guess you'll be back to work tomorrow?" -I asked my mom after lunch.

"Maybe not, I need a day to rest from everything."

I immediately thought, now that there isn't for her so beloved son, she will return to work. Meanwhile, I sent some messages to Maggie to call me when they landed, but there's no answer. I don't know what I'm going to do.

It's been days since my graduation, I have to start looking for a job. I'd like to write novels. I don't want to be a TV presenter. I don't know how I'd cope with fame and the fact that people recognize me on the street.

So far, I've written a few book concepts. Most of them are because of the college, and of course for my sake. I turn on light music and I lose myself in my character and my events. Escape from reality. I believe writing helped me the most the year Harvey left me.

Harvey. I wasn't thinking about him at all. All this time, I've been too preoccupied with Felix's shit. What could Felix say to keep Harvey from me? And on our coffee yesterday, he said that he never stopped loving me.

I feel like I'm having a panic attack. Maggie's not answering, Harvey's probably expecting me to run into his arms because now I know he's not guilty of anything. I need to explain to mom and dad what's going on with me and Felix. I don't know how to lie, they are going to notice something's wrong. I'm not feeling well. I'm not feeling well. I need some water. From the little power I have left, I managed to shout Ruby's name.

♥

The only thing I remember is Ruby hugging me. I guess it's been too much for me. I tried to figure out where I was. Everything smelled and pointed to the hospital. Great.

"My dear, are you all right?"- My mother took my hand gently.

"I don't know yet. Why am I here? "

"You fainted. I didn't want to just let you go, so we brought you in for a quick checkup. It's okay. You had a panic attack. Lila, if something's bothering you, you can tell me anything. There's a reason. "

Oh my God, I had a panic attack.

"Oh, it's okay. I didn't sleep so much at Alex's. And the whole thing with Felix leaving. I got a little nervous. Its okay, mom. When can we go home? "

"Just let the Doctor check for some more tests. Lila, My love, I was so worried. "

"Sorry, mom. I love you. "

She just looked at me and hugged me. I'm so annoyed that I have to lie to her.

Ruby told my girls where I was and what was going on, and they, I guess, reported everything to Harvey. I was greeted by a dozen missed calls and his messages.

"Lila, pick up the phone as soon as possible..."

"LILA!!!"

"What did he do to you?!"

"I'm coming!" – I read that last message and at that moment someone opened the door.

"Harvey! What are you doing here? "– My mother screamed.

"Oh, Mrs. Lawson. I came as soon as I heard that Lila ended up in the hospital. "

"But why? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were good friends again. "

"Mom, can you give us a minute?" – I asked, she nodded and went out.

"I died of worry. What happened? Is Felix responsible for this? What did he do to you? "– Harvey's face changed the expressions too quickly.

"Calm down, I didn't see Felix. He rushed out before dawn. I didn't get a lot of sleep at Alex's and all that with him took me out. I had a little panic attack. It's okay. Thank you for coming. "– I withheld the part where I was annoyed about the situation with him.

"I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you." – He sat on the bed and took my hand. I felt like I'd been burned by the electricity.

"Well, nothing happened to me, don't break your head about this, please!" - I smiled.

He stayed a while, we talked, and we joked. This is going to sound so cliché, but his smile gave me a little strength back.

"Sorry I have to go. I promised the boys we'd rehearse today. We have a show tomorrow. "

"Then run! You have to smash that show tomorrow! "

He leaned over to my face. He was standing so close to me. I haven't looked at his beautiful eyes in a long time. He got a little bit closer and kissed me on the cheek.

"I hope to see you soon in different circumstances. Now, rest." – He said, and I ended up dying inside myself.

Am I falling in love with my ex-boyfriend again?