Be my light in the dark

one

One hour left until my alarm rings, and here I am. Wide awake, shower taken, a simple make up on and fully dressed to face the cold Toronto this morning. On my way to my job.

I'll be there way too soon, I have the perfect notion of that, but I'm on the edge with my nerves. I wouldn't handle to be at home, alone, in this state. It's been a year since I walked inside the big gates of the production studios of one of the biggest tv show's at the moment. I leave my car at the same spot every single day; the one near the production rooms. But today... today it's a completely different day.

Today everything changes.

Today it's the first day I walk through the gates as image director. Just by thinking of my new job my stomach aches. It's the first day I have a spot on the parking lot with my name on it. It's the first time I get to my job, wanting to run like a baby girl.

- Good morning, Miss Scott – as soon as I reach the entrance to the production rooms, the oldest security in this job greets me.

- Good morning, George.

- I have something for you – we walk inside the building and George goes to his desk. I immediately see a beautiful bouquet of white roses inside of a jar – I already put them on the water – I get closer, grabbing one of them – they arrived pretty early in the morning.

- Thank you so much, George – I grab them, making sure I'll be able to carry them to the office.

- You're very welcome – I smile at him, unable to say anything else with my mouth so dry from the nerves I'm in. I feel like it's my first day ever and, even though, I know everyone... it's a foreign feeling. Today I'm occupying a new seat at the office. I'm no longer the set photographer, from this day forward, at my desk, you'll be able to read: Madelaine Scott – Image Director.

The room it's empty, as expected. It's too early for anyone to arrive. Since the bosses gave me the promotion, a week ago, the only thing I wish for it's that, the relation I have with my co-workers doesn't change. We've been working together for a year, and they are like a second family I have, since I came to Toronto.

I put the flowers on top of my desk, picking up the note in between the roses.

The best of lucks for you, Madelaine.

It doesn't have a name on it, there's no way of knowing who's the person behind the flowers. As usual. It isn't the first time I get flowers... actually, it's the third time in the last two weeks. And I'm in the dark without knowing who's sending them. And it's infuriating, sometimes.

I was going to sit, but then I changed my mind. If I stay here, I'm going to be insane in minutes. Thinking about what I need to say, what I need to do and not do... I grab my long waterproof and warm coat, getting outside again. I can see, already, some people working at the studios. People from costumes, taking clothes from one side to the other. I start walking, feeling the morning breeze on my face.

- Mads? – I ear Emeraude's voice. My dear Em, as I call her with all my love. She's one of the actresses from the show I'm working on – Shadowhunters. She's the one I'm more comfortable with, she's almost like a little sister I gained since we started working together – what are you doing here? – she asks me, when I turn to look at her.

- Good morning to you too – I get closer to her, hugging my Em so tight, almost like I was searching for her comfort – it's so cold.