Playing for Keeps

Emotionally Sick

I woke up with a major headache. I walked to my bathroom to grab a couple of aspirins. My reflection looked like a zombie. My eyes were red and puffy, my face seemed swollen as well and I had bags under my eyes. My headache was turning into a major migraine. God I really didn’t want to think.

I dragged my feet back to my bedroom. I was not going to school like this. If I did, I knew I would punch a lot of people in the face, first on my list would probably be Brit… and it wouldn’t be because of my mind-splitting headache.

I didn’t care if I missed my second day of school, but I was worried about missing soccer practice. I pulled out my cell and typed Clair’s number.

-Hey C. I’m not going to school today. Can you lead practice today?

-Sure thing Sum!

I placed my phone on my side table and pulled my blankets over my head. There was a knock at my door followed by Brit’s voice. “Summer?”

“Fuck off Brit!” I shouted.

She sighed and walked away. God why does she have to piss me off? I offer her a place to live after her mother kicked her out. And how does she repay me? By trying to ruin my relationship!? Well fuck her!

There’s nothing wrong with my relationship. I gazed down at my ring. It hasn’t left my finger since he gave it to me. He’s absolutely amazing. Why would I want to be with anyone else? I stared at my ceiling, which seemed to be coming closer and closer. My walls were closing in on me. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the walls to crush me but nothing happened. I opened one eye to see nothing was closing in on me.

God, I’m a fucking loon!

I laid there for what seemed like days. I was in a trance, a trance filled with self-pity and self-loathing.

The only thing that broke me out of my trance was my mom walking into my room. “Hey hun, Bryce is here. He said he was worried about you.”

My chest felt like it was in a knot again. “Yeah, okay. Umm, he can come up.” I said.

She nodded and hesitated for moment. Only for a moment though.

A minute later Bryce walked in. He had a bag filled with different things.

“Hey Summer. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I mumbled.

He looked at me like he didn’t believe me. He knew me too well.

“Well I picked up some stuff before I came over.” He dumped out the bag. There was a sprite, a bag of M&M’s, a few of my favorite magazines, and some new movies.

“Aww, you’re so sweet!” I said, kissing his cheek.

I ran my hands across everything, landing on the movies. I lifted them up to see what they were.

“Scary movie?”

“Yep. Scary and funny.” He said with a wink.

My stomach was twisted into knots and I felt like I was going to throw, and I didn’t know why, but I knew how I would feel better. I reached for

Bryce’s hand. “Babe, can you just lay here with me for a while?”

He looked worried. “Sure.”

He crawled on the bed with me and pulled me close. I rested my head on his chest. I let out a slow and shaky breath, causing Bryce to tighten his grip. “Summer, are you sure you’re okay.”

No… No I’m not sure. I feel like if I take one wrong step I’ll fall off the face of the Earth, or combust or both. “Yeah, I just… Had a bad day.” It wasn’t a total lie.

His hand rubbed small circles on my back. Slowly the knots in my chest disappeared, taking the nausea with it. I love times like this. I’m going to miss them.

I felt my eyes watering again and I held onto Bryce tighter, as if he would disappear at any moment. The tears streamed uncontrollably down my cheeks and my body shook slightly. I bit back my sobs, trying not to make any noise.

Bryce pulled away, and I reached out to grab his shirt because I didn’t want him to leave. “D-don’t leave.” I whispered.

“Whoa, I’m not leaving. I want to know why you’re crying.” He said whipping the tear away with his thumb.

“I just… didn’t want you to leave me.” Again… it wasn’t a total lie.

His face twisted with confusion, “I won’t leave you Summer. Not ever.”

I felt a lump in my throat that wouldn’t go down. I wanted to enjoy right now, but my stupid emotions was starting to ruin it. Bryce pulled me closer and placed a kiss on my forehead. I gave him a weak smile as looked up at his face. I reached up to touch his cheek to make sure he was real. There was a little bit of stubble, showing that he hadn’t shaved. I didn’t care though. His green eye’s seemed to glow in my dark room as they looked down at me. I reached up further to run my hands through his silky hair. There was still that slight curl that you only saw at the ends when it got a little long. He was going to get it cut soon for when his own season starts. I wrapped one of the small curls around my finger and smiled.

“Bryce, when did you first start… l-“ should I use that word? After what Brit said I didn’’t want to say it.

“When did I first start to love you?” he finished.

I nodded meekly.

“Hmm… Do you remember the first game of mine that you went to?”

I remembered that day. When I saw him play I instantly fell hard and fast for him. Then I remembered how he broke my heart not even 20 minutes later when he turned into a dick. I watched until he had gotten hurt and then I just couldn’t watch anymore.

I nodded in his chest and he continued. “Well, when I saw that I had hurt you, that I had taken that beautiful smile of yours away, I just wanted to fucking punch myself. That when I first started to feel it, but I didn’t know it was love just then.”

He sighed and continued. “When we really just… talked. You knew more about soccer than half the guys on my team. Usually girls were completely oblivious to the world of sports. But you? You just seemed to speak my language.”

I smiled. I remembered that day. I had said that we were both fluent in the language of soccer.

“You’re perfect. You’re my soccer girl.”

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