runaway - |a.i.|

0.2

before

☠☠☠☠

Mom had told me everything that had happened between her and dad. No matter how much she explained, it didn't make any sense nor did it relieve the pain. She also had mentioned that while dads at work we will go back and pack our things.

☠☠☠☠

It was an hour long drive and we'd only been in the car for about thirty minutes. I didn't say anything to her since she told me they were splitting up. I was angry with her. All I did was give small nods here and there or shrugs.

"El, you can be mad at me forever."

El was short for Ella, and I disliked her calling me that. She tended to call me that when she wanted something.

I might as well be mad at her forever. They leave me at this mental hospital alone and afraid, don't contact me in any way, and the day she gets me is when she tells me something worse.

I was in there for two months, without hearing from them. Two whole depressing months. I was stoked when I saw her, and she only gets me to break me down even more.

I have a reason to be mad.

"El, please." She pleaded while looking in the rear view mirror, trying to get a look at me.

"Don't call me that." I replied softly yet sternly.

I mentally swore at myself for talking to her. All she did was sigh. And for the rest of the car ride, it was silent.

☠☠☠☠

Once we had gotten there we unpacked all our things. The house was worth the drive, I have a nice sized room that I was very proud of.

Mom mentioned me going to school soon. I tried to silently tell her soon is too soon, but she didn't get the memo for who knows why.

☠☠☠☠

Mom signed me up at the school and I got a free tour around the school, meeting all my teachers. I had four of them, at my old school we had seven.

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I had woken up dreading school. That was the only thing I enjoyed about the mental hospital, no school.

I was super nervous and I hoped it wouldn't be anything like my last school. That's when times started to get bad, when the bullying started getting worse. I felt tears form up in the corner of my eyes and caught myself looking at my scars through my blurry vision.

I tried to ignore that and look at the positives though. It's what I tried to do lately, stay positive. Good vibes.

☠☠☠☠

When I got to the school, I noticed nothing but cliques. I tried putting myself in each group seeing which one I would end up in. Is there a sad group?

As I walked into my first period class, everyone's attention was on me. I felt extremely uncomfortable but I chose to ignore it and took a seat in the front of the class. I looked around and everyone was still staring.

☠☠☠☠

My first day here so far wasn't as bad as I expected it. A few girls, who I expected to be snobs, are now my first friends. They asked if I wanted to be in their group and I hesitantly replied with a 'Sure.'

After class was over I went to go find my friends I had made earlier. I think their names were Madeline, Gretchen, and Bethany.

"Hey girlie!" They all cooed cheerfully.

"Hey" I smiled back, but not nearly as wide.

"How do you like it so far?" Bethany asked.

"It's okay, I mean it's school," I said and they all laughed in sync. "but there is this hot guy in first period" I smirked.

They all looked at each other, "Ooh! Who is it? Give me all the deets!" Gretchen squealed anxiously.

"I think his name is Grant, but I'm not sure."

"That's adorable!" Bethany said, flashing a fake smile.

"Yeah, thanks I guess? But Ive got to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye!" I waved at them and they ran off to who knows where.

☠☠☠☠

As I walked into first period less people were staring at me. Only this time it was Madeline, Gretchen, Bethany and Grant. I got really insecure at Grant staring at me and I pulled my jacket over my chest.

He walked up to me casually and looked into my eyes. I tried to act casual but it didn't work so I just looked down.

"Hey" he said cooly, leaving his trademark smirk.

It was something that made every girls knees weak.

"Hi" I said shyly, only to look back down again.

"I was wondering if," I could hear him lick his lips so I shot my head up, all attention to his lips. "you'd like to go on a date to the movies?"

My eyes grew wide and I swear, the whole class went silent. I saw Madeline, Gretchen and Bethany smiling and wiggling their eyebrows at me and I saw some jealous girls giving me the stank face. A few peoples eyes were just as wide as mine.

"Uh," I said nervously, "Sure." I finished with a small smile.

☠☠☠☠

As we got to the cinema, he grabbed my hand, causing me to almost flinch. I looked down at our hands and then at him, he was grinning and my knees went weak.

We were seeing Annabelle, and I love horror movies. Apparently, so does he.

But always jump at jump scares, that's the only thing I'm worried about.

Halfway throughout the movie, he put threw his arm around me causing me to jump. It startled me because I was way concentrated on this movie. It was so sudden and unexpected. Even though it's a cheesy move everyone uses.

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-a little over a week after the movies-

We have been dating for a week, and everything's going great. Fast, but great. He holds my hand, walks me to class, kisses me. A lot. We've made out a few times and he's tried to go further and I've always stopped him, which I've always felt guilty afterwards.

I've been feeling kind of uncertain or something about this relationship. Everything's too soon. I haven't had a serious boyfriend since my last school, obviously, and it doesn't feel the same.

My phone rang startling me and loosing my train of though completely. It was Grant, of course.

G- hey babe ;)

M- hey :)

G- what r u doing, sexy? ;)

I suddenly had the shivers, felt very uncomfortable and awkwardly shifted in my bed.

M- just laying down, you?

G- wishing I was laying beside u ;)

M- haha

G- wanna trade?

M- trade what?

G- pics?

I jumped from my bed, flustered. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and I started to shake a bit. I had bad anxiety when it came to this stuff and I tended to shake a lot.

I gulped not know what my decision would be.

☠☠☠☠

WOW PRESSURE

SHITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN

ALSO THIS IS A LONG CRAPPY AND BORING FILLER IM VERY SORRY AND ASH WILL COME IN AFTER THE NEXT CHAPTER

THIS WAS LIKE A LOT OF DAYS AND I TRIED TO WRITE A LOT ABOUT IT BUT IT DIDNT REALLY WORK OUT BC IT WAS STUPID SO I JUST WROTE LIKE LIL SUCKY SUMMARIES IDK SRRY