Dream A Little Dream of Me

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by HowFarWeveCome

by HowFarWeveCome

WARNING: Fighting, Death, Alcoholism, & Suicide mentions

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I woke with a start, my clothes sticking to my body from sweat. I shivered and started to chew on my lip while grinding the palms of my hands into my eyes just observing the explosion of colors that appeared. I could feel myself shaking from the after-effects of the dream and I held back a choked sob. I took my hands off of my eyes when I felt the body next to me shift and I glanced over at my boyfriend who was staring at me now with worry in his eyes. “I’m sorr-.” I started to say before he cut me off “Dean, don’t apologize are you okay?” the love and worry mixed in Cas’ eyes knocked down all of my walls and I broke down and let the hot tears burn streaks down my face as Cas pulled me into his warm embrace, planting little kisses on my forehead as he stroked my hair and back “Shh Dean it’s okay, you’re okay now Baby you’re fine. I’ve got you.” I nuzzled my face into his chest and just let myself go. We laid there in the dark like that for an hour at least, Cas just murmuring into my ear while he gripped me tightly to him. I just let myself be absorbed into him, into this amazing man I had grown to love and eventually I calmed down, the nightmare fading from my memory. Cas lazily rubbed his hand up and down my back “Are you okay?” I tipped my head up to look at him and nodded “I’m sorry I woke you up babe.” The corner of his mouth turned up as he gazed down at me, “Dean you don’t have to apologize. All that matters is that you’re okay.” He placed a kiss on my nose and I could feel the adoration I felt for him swell up in my chest, “Cas, I love you so much” He smiled back at me “I know, and I love you too” He cupped my chin in his hand and tilted my head up to kiss me, our lips were inches apart when my eyes flashed open in the dark. And there I was alone. I shut my eyes again as the hot tears clouded at the corners of my eyes. “It was all just a dream” I murmured to myself “Just a dream..” I balled myself up around my pillow and just screamed. I couldn’t take this anymore. Because it was all just a dream, like the other dreams I’d been having for the past 7 months. Since the night of our fight when I told him to go. Since the night he screamed at me he didn’t love me. Since the night I slammed the door behind him and told him to never come back. Since the night I received a call I never wanted to receive. Since the night that my beautiful, beautiful angel got into a head on collision with a drunk driver. Since the night that Castiel died and it was all because I told him to leave. The tears ran freely down my face now as I got up, throwing the pillow fiercely at the wall. I opened my dresser drawer, fumbling through the clothes until my hand slid over cold hard metal. I sat on the edge of my bed, the weight of the Colt in my hand as I whispered one final prayer “See You Soon” before tilting my head back, cocking the gun, pulling the trigger and- [BLACK]