Too Good

"Baby" Jungkook coos at you after a night spent on wine and sex. Turning away from him while fastening your bra behind your back you sigh "Kook, we go through this every time."

Anger flares up in his veins when it came to the physical nothing was off-limits. He fulfilled you in ways that no one else could. Emotions and commitment? Blegh! Intimacy was like poison, you wanted nothing to do with it. 

"Why y/n? Every Saturday we go out, you get drunk and we end up back here." he spits with more vitriol than intended. "Just stay" his voice softens. "What happened to no strings attached, huh? I never asked for more!" Clenching his jaw he shouts back "well maybe I am!"

"Oh please," you chuckle back, "you're thinking too much into it, Kook. Believe me, you're not." Grabbing you by the wrist before you can stand up from the bed he pulls you down.

"Don't tell me what I want. If I'm nothing more than a fuck then why do you call me when you're blackout drunk at 2 in the morning?!" 

Shit.

Thinking back a few weeks you remember that night. You'd had a hard day hearing that your best friend was now fucking your ex. "It was a hard time Kook and I was drunk, that's it. It meant nothing" you say through gritted teeth.

"Nothing" he whispers mocking you "if it was nothing you wouldn't have said I love you before you hung up" your heart stops. You did say I love you, you'd tried covering it up but you'd said it. Jungkook's grip softens when he hears you sigh.

"Y/n you know how I feel, we've been doing this for too long, stay. Let me hold you, for the night. If you decide in the morning you don't want more then I'll let you go, but please stay and give it a chance" Your heart leaps at his words but your brain fights it. 

No. 

You're not getting attached to Jeon-fucking-Jungkook. Shaking your head you pull away from his touch, tears welling in your eyes you stay facing away from him.

"No!" You yell back shakily. He heard the hurt in your voice, fuck. Panicking you look for your shirt that he'd discarded on the floor next to him. Realizing it's not in sight and that you'd have to face Jungkook you stop and place your arms over your belly. Holding up your shirt behind you he dangles it from his fingertips, "looking for this?" And by instinct, you turn to him. "Baby come here, please" he pleads with you. 

He knows the hurt you've experienced throughout your life. He wishes he could take it all away, deep down you wish anything but a strong drink and a good fuck could. Whispering and fighting the sobs you cry out to him "Kookie, please." You can't bring yourself to tell him that he deserves better, because you know he won't hear it. He's good and you're chaos. He's strong and you're weak. He's everything that could be good for you, and you could destroy him.

He moves closer to you, slow and steadily untilhe reaches you, taking your hips into his arms. "Y/n you won't hurt me. I can handle it. I can handle you. Let me love you the way you should be loved." 

"Kookie you don't mean that, you have no idea what it's like to love me. I destroy everything I touch. I can't," a sob breaks through your chest "I won't." With that, you get up off of his bed pulling your hand from his and shrug the shirt over your head. 

"Goodnight, Kook" is the last thing he hears before the door closes behind you.