Too Good

There For You

Jungkook speaks first, breaking the silence aside from chewing "I think I said some mean things last night..." gulping, you nod. "They were less than pleasant to hear but I know why you said them."

"I don't," he answers back with a sound of frustration. 

"Nothing you said was a lie, Kook." You look down at your plate, pushing around the eggs with your fork. "That didn't give me the right to use your pain against you. I should have never done that and I'm sorry."

You nod accepting his reply "thank you, Kook." 

You know the next words he speaks will be questions. What's going on? Why the change of heart? Is this real? Are you sure? Instead, he only asks one thing. 

"Are you happy? Being alone, I mean." You wince at his words.

Alone, you'd never really thought of it that way, more like willfully secluded and guarded. You ponder it for a second after taking a bite. "Yes. No? I don't have a problem being alone if that's what you're asking." 

"You know I'm not." Jungkook's tone is flat.

"I don't feel alone though, Kookie. I have friends and family. I have you..." your words linger between you. 

"Yes, y/n, you do, you do have me when you want me, but I never know when that is."

"I'm sorry" you apologize again for being so hard to read. 

"Don't apologize, just explain. Do you only want friends with benefits? Someone to go to the club and drink with? Someone to lose yourself with?"

"No, I-I don't know" you stutter out. Placing your hands under the table, knitted together in one another you look down at them as you try to answer. "I thought so, I thought that's the only way I could be ... safe." 

"Y/n, when you're with me, do you feel unsafe?"

"No!" Your reply is instant. 

"But you don't feel safe, really safe." 

"I... yes, I do feel safe with you, actually. Which is why I wanted to talk to you about this, about us" you manage to push out the last word that seemed so difficult before.

"Us?" Kookie asks, eyebrow raised. 

"Yes, us."

Jungkook sits there, jaw slacked, seemingly surprised but keeping a cool exterior. "I don't want to hurt you y/n, god that would kill me. I love you, I just want you to be happy and feel secure, no matter who you're with or not with."

"I do, I do feel happy and secure, I feel happy and secure with you." The next sentence runs through your head for what feels like ten minutes before it comes out of your mouth. "I feel happy, safe, and... loved... with you. I do have deeper feelings for you Jungkook. It scares me to death but I'm trying to learn to love in a healthier way than before. I don't know what that means yet, but I know it means I want to try. I want to love you."

His physical response is immediate, fumbling and dropping his fork on his plate when he hears that word. Picking it back up quickly he mumbles "sorry." His body hardened, easy to see through the triangular opening below his neck. You try tearing your eyes away from the barely revealed flesh. This isn't about the physical you remind yourself. 

Jungkook looks up meeting your gaze "are you sure?"No hesitation in your voice this time you answer "I'm sure, Kookie"

You swallow hard "I've never been surer. Please be patient with me and let me try."He nods answering your question "of course, baby." You blush at him calling you baby again as if the last week had changed nothing.

"I should go shower and get cleaned up..." you shuffle in your seat. 

Finishing his plate he agrees "we should."