Chapter 1

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*Photo above is Connor

"Tell me what exactly it is that you see in him again?" My best friend Taylor said to me while rolling her eyes and looking at the group of guys ahead.

"Honestly, he's a really nice guy when you get to know him."

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" She tore her eyes away from the crowd ahead and looked directly at me.

"Whatever." She hit the nail on the head with that one. Honestly, Connor Martin really was a nice guy. But sitting here at this shitty party with his annoying football buddies didn't really do much for me. Connor tended to act like a jackass around his friends, and that was exactly what he was doing at the moment. We've been dating for a little over a year. We hit every milestone together. We were each other's firsts, and I know he wanted us to be each other's lasts. But lately, I can feel the sparks dying between us, and if I'm being totally honest I'm not too sure if they were ever there in the first place.

Me and Taylor were both staring at the group in front of us crowded around the keg. Jay, captain of the football team, was holding my impossibly drunk boyfriends legs up in the air for a keg stand. The entire party was standing around them, chanting loudly. Once they made it to ten, Jay dropped his hands and Connor landed upright on his feet. I knew this move, they did this at every party. Next they would high five and then do a bro hug. After that Connor will announce our departure and we would head to the car where I would argue with him about how he isn't fit to drive. Then when I finally get possession of his car keys he will spend the whole way back to my place feeling me up, we will get to my house where I have to sneak his drunk ass up to my room and he will stay the night because he is too drunk to drive home. He'll beg me for sex to which I will continually decline since sex with a sloppy drunk Connor is NOT enjoyable, and then by the time I exit the bathroom after my night time routine he will be passed out and snoring on my bed.

So yeah, I guess you can say the sparks are gone. Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

"You know what that means, I guess that's my cue." I sigh while standing up, already dreading the events that I know are ahead.

"Seriously, Court, when are you gonna leave that jack-"

"Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Damn girl you look better every time I see you." Jay slurred. Hopefully they hadn't heard what she was about to say. Then I would have to deal with Connors incessant whining about how mean my best friend is.

Taylor rolled her eyes and gave me a pointed look as if to say "need I say more?" before turning around to look at the two boys who have made their way over to us. I caught Connors eyes and he smiled down at me, bleary eyed and all. If he had heard her, he sure isn't showing it.

Connor Martin was a good looking guy. Standing at 6'2 with blonde hair and blue eyes, he turned the heads of every girl at this party. He had a small scar over his left eyebrow that he got last year during football practice. I hadn't been there to see it but according to Jay there was "blood everywhere and it was totally awesome". I used to think we were perfect for each other. I was a cheerleader and he was on the football team. That must mean we were meant to be, right? I crushed on him all through our freshman year and halfway into our sophomore year. I would watch him from where we practiced our cheers, hoping he would look over from the field see me. Finally one day he did. He looked right at me with his signature smirk and sent me a wink, and then I was a goner. He asked me out that day and we've been together ever since. Imagine my disappointment at where I was now. Something must be wrong with me, to have this hot blue eyed boy looking at me like I was everything, and to feel this. To feel...nothing. I feel nothing. Not the butterflies, the nervousness before a date, the fireworks when we kiss. Hell, he had never even given me an orgasm for shits sake! At first I chalked it up to us both being inexperience but dear god it's practically been a year and still, nothing. I mean, it's not that much to ask for! God damn just at least make me come once before you get your rocks off! Am I right, ladies?! And I swear if I have to go down on him one more time without him returning the favor I will-

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