A Toast

Day 3

I do not have time for this nonsense!

I turned my face and steeled my heart,

No matter how hard it was.

I knew I had better things to do than to waste time on such frivolous activities.

Activities that will end with me in heartbreak and humiliation.

I am not letting myself fall into that trap again.

So I turned my eyes into daggers

Made especially for you.

But every time I met those warm brown eyes, I couldn't help but think

"It can be different this time. Those eyes are so welcoming and loving."

"Maybe a leap of faith is all I need?"

"NO!"

"Feelings will fade when you refuse to acknowledge him."

I repeated my mantra, over and over again, 

Desperately holding onto that thin sliver of hope that it maybe true.

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Can't you see that I am lost in you?

Every day is me drowning deeper and deeper into those brown eyes,

Those brown daggers that I'm so ready to let my heart pierce

This constant chaos consumes me

Little by little

And you keep igniting the flames further

What made you so cold?

So hard?

I resolved then and there

Your heart was mine

And I would walk to the end of hell and back to break through that stone and ice

And to win you.

That's why when I talked to you the first time today I was so confident

I knew you were surprised

And you refused to give me an inch

A tight bud closed

Unwilling to let itself trust the sun to help photosynthesize

It's okay,

I like stubborn.

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If I had to be honest

You had me the moment you spoke to me.