Play Date **JUST UPDATED**

Carnival of Darkness: The Clown-Off

RJ sped his orange mini car into the arena and did doughnuts. The crowd cheered in the bleachers as the dust flew. He waved. The dirt floor had several ramps, hills and obstacles on it. He came to a stop to stand up and waggle his eyebrows. He saluted his adoring fans but didn't have time to gloat. Another car was coming. It was a truck with teeth, pirate flag and HUGE wheels. LJ's cackles rang out over the spinning wheels as he towered over the smaller car. He did donuts around his colored alter ego, his truck spraying orange sparks from every angle. The crowd went from cheering to a roar. LJ's truck was black and white, like an extension of himself. Its headlights were shaped like red eyes that also shot fire. He backed up in a sudden hard revving motion and positioned himself behind RJ. His voice boomed out over all the noise.

"Shall we dance?" He sped forward and sailed over a row of beat up cars which included RJ's mini car. He landed hard on the side of his wheels, but still didn't tip over. RJ countered him with

     "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog!" Determined, he spun a lap around the track, then met LJ halfway over a short wall in the middle. They collided. RJ's car bounced off LJ's and landed in a thankfully empty part of the bleachers. He jumped out to see LJ's truck had flipped over, one of its wheels spinning crazilly as its tire tread had come off. He swore and jumped out on top of the barricade. His counterpart was rapidly approaching him from the other side, both of them unscathed.

LJ smiled. "Ah we meet again!" He wasn't prepared for RJ's retort. He smirked and said,

"You have less meat in your pants than a vegan restaurant!"

LJ held up his hands and did a little mock wave, going "oooooh! I'm hurt! Why don't you kiss my ass and make it better?"

"I can't, because there's currently a stick up there."

        "Put your money where your mouth is."

"Put your money where your mama is."

     "Your mama's so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went looking for it."

"Your mama's so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the cops she got mugged."

     "Oh yeah? Your mama's so stupid she stared at an orange juice carton for 20 minutes because it said 'concentrate."

"Well your mama stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call!"

     "I'm gonna rip YOU a new ass!"

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condum factory." LJ crossed his arms and nodded hard, triumphant, but RJ dropped the bomb. Smiling hugely, he reached into his bottomless pocket and pulled out a string of condums, saying,

     "I took all your condums so Adara is pregnant."

"You son of a BITCH!" LJ lunged at RJ but he took off faster than a cheetah. He led him on a wild chase to his own hall of mirrors. "You think you can hide from me Skittles? I MADE this damn place you know!"

But clever LJ wasn't so clever after all. The familiar maze suddenly turned unfamiliar, as though other hands had crafted it. Suddenly he found himself in the foyer of a huge house he had never seen before.