please dont give up on me [manthony]

im fiending though, 'bout to reach my peak you know

MITCHEL'S POV
i wake up from tossing and turning.
i can't sleep.
i face the window, admiring the pretty stars shining.
all i've been thinking about the past week is the gorgeous boy who held my hand at the skate park, it saddens me knowing i'll never get to look into his beautiful eyes again. oh how anyone would kill to see those eyes.
i lay in bed, my conscience taking over in this dark room. i feel a tear slide down my cheek. why am i not good enough?
why don't i have any friends?
what's the point?
i don't see a fucking point. but that boy, a fucking boy i know nothing about is keeping me sane. pathetic.
i get up, tired of beating myself up and put on some sweatpants and a hoodie. i grab my phone.

3:22 AM

i leave my room, quietly walking towards clinton's room to see if he's still asleep. his bitchass is snoring. i head down stairs and walk out the door.
i don't deserve to feel this way.
i follow the sidewalk, letting it lead me to wherever it takes me. as i'm walking i start to think about how weird it is to feel something towards someone. like in my case, i don't even know this boys name ffs and he's my only hope. and i'm sure i'll never see him again, yet he's the only thing keeping me happy. i smile to myself.
i wonder if he likes boys too.

i walk towards this alley, i see green and red lights. i squint and i see someone's figure, almost like if i recognized them. usually i would regret it but i decided to walk towards them. and i realize who it is.
the boy
he sees me walking towards him and gives me a confused face.
"do i know you?" he asks, his voice is deep.
i take a deep breathe and respond.
"i fell at the park" i say embarrassed
his face lights up and he smiles, oh how beautiful did he look when he smiled.
"oh yeah" he chuckled.
"are you okay by the way?"

i smile at the thought of him asking.
"yeah i'm okay, thanks for asking"
he hums in response.
i realize that he's smoking. and as much as i wanted to ask, i couldnt, i didn't deserve it. but i guess he caught me staring cus he then asked
"wanna share?"
my face lit up as i looked into the eyes i missed seeing and slowly nod. i grab the joint out of his hands. we smoke for about ten minutes, and he decides to speak up.
"so what brought you here?"
i get nervous. i can't let him know.
"just thinking, needed a break"
he nods in understandment.
"same here. it's overwhelming sometimes"

i look down and smile, i like this.
an hour goes by and i start to see the sun peaking out, giving the sky a pink tint.

"so what's your name anyway?" he asks
"mitchel, but you can call me mitty" i respond.
"mitty. hm, my names christian but you can call me kras" he says while glancing at me.

"who were those boys you were with at the skate park" i ask.
i assume he thought about what happened at the park because he giggled and responded with
"my friends, pat and jesse. jesse's the smurf headass. he thinks the blue makes him look cool"

and if i'm honest, that was the first time i've genuinely laughed in months. kras made me feel something and it hit me, tears brimming my eyes and i start to panic. he's gonna hurt you, he's using you
my hands start to shake, my breathe hitching. 
"hey are you okay?" he asks in a worried tone
"look at me."
i look towards him and face his worried eyes. he takes both of my hands and places them on his face.
"just focus on me, everything's okay, just breathe"
i close my eyes, not realizing how close i've gotten to him. but it felt nice, i felt safe.
when i open my eyes i see him smiling.
we're so close.
"thank you" i whisper not knowing what to say.
i hug him.
and he hugs back.
"i'll see you soon pretty boy" he says and walks away.

pretty boy. i smile
and i walk back home.