Bare

four - giddy

Livia

Every cigarette was a reminder of you, of your lips, of our moments.

Every cigarette meant more because of you.

When you left- or was it I who left?

I couldn't bear remembering you every time I inhaled or exhaled,

So I started learning how to quit.

I didn't exactly quit though-

But it doesn't matter.

You and I, we hurt each other more than cigarettes ever did.

'

I barely slept. My mind was working like a fucking motor, spinning and whirling with thoughts of all kind. I had an awful headache as soon as I woke up.

Worse feeling ever.

I never believed in the concept of fainting out of nervousness. But now, with my current state, I'm starting to think it's real. Also, a great idea.

Fainting right now would be perfect. I wouldn't have to deal with the stress and the overthinking and the what-ifs.

Beautiful body of mine, could you possibly pass out?

You horrible creature, if I collapse on the floor, I will get hurt.

There are carpets. Pretty please. You would save me from a horrible day waiting for me.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous Liv. My inner bitch steps in to bring me back to sanity.

Now, why am I nervous?

First day of university.

All the doubts I could possibly have are swarming inside my head.

I think I need one of William's self-help books. Yep. That's it, those can definitely help. That's what they're for, right?

"Livia! I'm not waiting all day for you!" Roy shouts from downstairs, shaking me out of my trance.

"I'm coming in a minute!" I reply and retrieve my bag from the desk.

I check myself in the mirror one last time; my outfit is casual, a white t-shirt with 'not a morning person' written on it and a pair of tight black jeans. I would've usually went for sweatpants or something but it's the first day and I need to avoid looking like I just got out of bed.

As for my makeup, I only applied some concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but then again, I don't think that's considered makeup.

I go down the stairs to find Roy waiting for me at the door, impatiently might I add.

"Finally." He mutters to which I simply roll my eyes.

We planned our schedules together. Today for example, we finish our classes at the same time. On Tuesday, I would come an hour earlier because his class starts earlier than mine and on Friday, I'd be his personal chauffeur because I don't have any classes that day. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, he'd wait for me, since I'll finish later than him.

Of course, Roy and I agreed that he wouldn't show me around campus or any of that to shorten our time spent together, thus helping me stay in a good mood for the rest of the day.

The car ride is mostly silent, except for when he's giving me directions. Then I almost get us killed because I'm a psycho on the wheel and whoever gave me my license is an idiot.

We start a never ending argument about who should be driving from now on.
It helps me finally relax:

If it my day starts with a fight with Roy, then I can rest assured; it's going perfectly normal.