Bare

twelve - crying is definitely today's theme

Julian

It's possible to love someone without liking them.

I never liked my mother. In fact, I still don't. I don't like spending time with her. I don't like the way she thinks or acts.

But I care about her. I love her. She's my mother; I have to love her.

And my dad...I used to like him. A lot. I used to love him.

After what he did- God knows I tried. I tried to hate him, but I couldn't.

It makes me feel like I'm even worse than him, if I'm capable of loving him.

Sometimes, I convince myself that the man behind those bars is not the same man who raised me.

It's the only way I know how to deal with it. It's the only way to numb the pain.

'

Livia POV

"How was your weekend?" Dr. Brenda asks me.

"Technically it's a Sunday so the weekend isn't over-"

"Don't be a smartass Livia." She shuts me up strictly and I chuckle, unfazed by her authoritative tone.

I like her.

"Well, if you must know, yesterday was fun." I start, crossing one leg over the other. "My date Julian was cool and I got closer to some other people." I recall my dinner with Julian and Asher.

Asher and I bonded over the TV shows we binge watch and the music we listen to. He's a huge fan of My Chemical Romance and All Time Low.

"I also saw one of the assholes that went with me in high school, Damien Moore." Her lips twitch at the name and I'm reminded that she must be acquainted with the elitist class as my dad is. "Apparently, he's dating one of Roy's friends, Kai, who I was starting to like until I found out who her boyfriend is-"

"Livia, are you trying to avoid talking about yourself by bringing up others?" She asks, narrowing her eyes at me and I gulp involuntarily, avoiding her hard gaze.

"What about your own love interests?"

She's sneaky.

"I had my last boyfriend in Vancouver and obviously I'm not seeing anyone now nor do I intend to." I answer as briefly as possible.

"What's his name?"

"Rafael Jones, we didn't end on good terms."

"Why?"

"Well... We could start by the fact that he was cheating on his girlfriend with me...And yes, I knew about her, I just never cared-" I pause for a moment, thinking about how to go on with this.

"I just- I figured it wasn't my problem, you know? I thought she should be smart and figure out that it's not working out between them. I'm also not the type to commit to someone in a relationship so it was all so convenient- I don't know if you get what I mean- it sounds horrible when I put it like that..."

Her face doesn't let out any reaction and I can feel the energy getting sipped out of me.

"I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to listen and you clearly need to let this out." She says, her calm state soothing me for a moment. "So take a deep breath, you can have some water and just talk whenever you're ready."

I drink some water from the cup in front of me and stay quiet for a moment.

"It's not wrong to cry." She says as she stares at me.