Protecting Miss Dawes - a job like any other

Chapter 18: Charles

Have you ever felt sorrow in the midst of a happy moment, because you suddenly have the idea that your time soon will be up, the moment gone, and you are already missing what you have even when you still have it? That happened to me during those days with Molly. Not at first, then I was only engulfed in the happy bubble, but as the days went by, sadness inhabited me because I doubted that she would remain mine when we left this place.

Everything was silent, peaceful. She was lying on the side with her back turned to me and I let my fingers slowly trace her softly curved contour from the shoulder, down her side to the dip of her waist, circle down under one of her buttocks and then up her spine, ending at her neck and finally placed a kiss there.

"Mmmm... Don't stop, I love that."

"Who has said anything about stopping? Not me."

I could not get enough of her body, enough of her. The more she gave me the more I craved, and it seemed to be the same way for her. I had lost track of time since we first went into the bedroom, when she was upset, and I was confused, it seemed like a life-time had passed since then. We had spent so much time in bed making love, talking and sleeping entwined that the only thing that separated day from night was the darkness and the light. When we got hungry we went up for a while, wrapped in the sheets and got ourselves something to eat, but then returned to the closeness in the bed as soon as we possibly could, to revel in what we had denied ourselves for so long. Not only had I waited out with her, it had been so long before I met her too. My marriage was dead long before the divorce and I could not even remind myself of a time when Rebecka and I had been like this, spending time in playful, lazy lust. I had not known how much I wanted this until I had it with her. From what she told me, her story was much the same. The marriage with Roger had never contained any passion and she had been single since. Our mutual discovery of each other entailed so much joy, curiosity and desire which none of us had experienced before.

She now turned to lay on her back, her green eyes gazing up at me, the dark messy hair spread over the pillow and she bit her lower lip as if hesitating to say something that she wanted to say. She was adorable, and I had to kiss her before I let her talk. When I withdrew she almost followed me up, unwilling to let my lips go, but then she sunk back to the pillow, sighed with contentment and asked;

"When did you know? That you had feelings for me?"

"You're really asking me to reveal that?"

Maybe we ought to be past that, but her question made me feel like a shy school boy. She giggled.

"I guess I'm just really curious. You're so good at hiding your feelings when you want to, so I truly have no idea."

"Okay, I'll tell you if you tell me. Deal?"

"Deal", she smiled.

"Well, the coin dropped when I was out having a beer with a friend. That was the weekend before the PM's party. We talked about me working for you and he said that you were one of his free passes..."

"One of his free passes! That doesn't make a girl feel very special. How many does he have?"

I laughed.

"I also reacted at the number and that it was you, but with a slightly different perspective... anyway, I really didn't like the thought of him with you and afterwards I realised the reason was because I wanted to be with you... like this."

I caressed her cheek softly with the back of my fingers and she placed her hand on mine, turned her head to kiss my palm.

"And you?"

"It came gradually... I realised the evening of the party that you were the only one I wanted to be with, dance with, talk to... that I even had bought that dress because I wanted you to see me in it. And the hours we had in the sofa after the party was just the best I had in ages. I felt I could be myself with you and that is unusual for me these days. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew then I had a crush on you... and I was so looking forward to seeing you again after the weekend, but that was when all went to shit because you had been told to spy on me."