Protecting Miss Dawes - a job like any other

Chapter 20: Charles

Next day, I called in sick and at the same time asked the Chief Superintendent to be transferred to another assignment.

"This is very odd, Charles. Did something happen since we met last?"

"I just don't see eye to eye with the Home Secretary. After my return I've reflected on the situation when she demanded I'd take her away without telling anyone. Now that I've landed a bit, I realise I'm not comfortable working that way. If she's not willing to follow my safety instructions, and yours, I find it impossible to be responsible for her safety. I think it's better if someone else take over."

I hoped I sounded convincing and that she took the sadness in my voice for being tired due to illness.

"The strange thing is that I have a paper here on my desk, with a request from the Home Secretary's office regarding the same."

"What?"

I had not seen that coming.

"Yes, she's asked that you're replaced, so you seem to agree on that. Consider it done, you don't have to go back there on Monday. Come to the office instead and we'll see what your next assignment will be. And for your information, we'll strike against the terrorist cell today so hopefully your ex and Sam will be able to return home soon."

"Thanks Ma'am, that's great news."

I hung up with a heavy heart. What a way to break up... maybe not from a relationship because I guess it had been too short-lived to be defined as that, but at least an affair. A love affair. A lovely affair... To have your office contact the boss of your lover and say his services are no longer required. How clean and efficient, just like that I would be out of her sight with no way of getting near her without raising suspicion. It was not like her but maybe she felt she could not afford to be the source of any gossip given the current situation.

I left the flat, went out for a long and intensive run in an attempt to distract myself but my thoughts followed me like a constant dark cloud hovering above my head.

I felt so disappointed, betrayed and sad. I already missed her, but of course this was the choice she had to make. Who would turn down the possibility to become the Prime Minister for the possibility to fuck their bodyguard? Because that was what I always would be - the bodyguard. It didn't matter that I came from a good family, had gone to the most prestigious boarding school and university the country had to offer, had received the sword of honour for being the best cadet my year of passing out, had had a brilliant army career as officer – to any tabloid that found out that we had a relationship, I would still only ever be the faceless bodyguard the Home Secretary had been shagging and it would pull her down and cost her her career. I would never want that. I wanted her to be brilliant and I could not imagine anyone who would be a better leader for this country.

She had said she loved me... did she? Her words and my question went on repeat again and again in my head in pace with the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, faster and faster until I felt the taste of iron in my mouth, my t-shirt was soaking and I barely could take another step. Then I sat down by the river bank for a while, just to catch my breath but my thoughts did not cut me any slack, a very annoying companion.

I leaned my head in my hands. I was in love with her, really in love with her so it hurt. Feelings so strong that I had not felt anything like it for many years. Maybe the last feeling I had that was this strong was when I saw the newborn Sam and was stricken by unconditional love. I wanted to fight for her but how could I when it risked hurting her?

The weekend that followed, was my weekend with Sam and we had planned to visit my parents. This time the train trip to Bath was uneventful and it was great to get away in the company of him. He was as sunny as ever and seemed to be so happy to be with his dad, with me, which warmed my heart more than anything.