𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 & 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬

roles

She slaps me. I recoil in fear. The words feel like another slap against the face. It stings. She screams in my face,

"Being feminine will get you nowhere. It's wussy, you're not strong." My eyes sparkle with tears. This never helped, and it will never help. Ever. But I pull myself up to my full height, proud.

"Feminine gay men, and all other parts of the LGBTQ+ community are actually some of the strongest people on this planet, mom." She glares at me, nostrils flaring. But I continue. "They are because they're not afraid to show their true selves and live in self defiance. They are strong because they're putting themselves out there! Why can't you see this!" My mom sighs.

"Feminine gay men are disgusting. People with no gender are disgusting. It's just unnatural." She leans towards me, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Their worlds are so small. You have to learn to see the real world and to see when you should back off and become someone else. You can change." I shove her hands off my shoulders as I shudder with anger.

"I'm not hiding myself. Personally, I don't give a crap of somebody harasses me because of this, because I'm not afraid to be me." I turn on my heel, and march out the door. My mom calls me, but I do not respond.

I walk. I walk. And I walk some more. Out of my house. Out of my neighbourhood. Out of my town, until, finally, I sit down on the outskirts. And open up a piece of paper in my coat pocket. It reads:

So excited to see you again! This is going to be great!

Love, L

With shaking hands, I pick up the phone, and dial his number.

"Hi." I wince at how weak my voice sounds. He answers.

"What's wrong?" Ah. He can tell. I sigh.

"I just need you to pick me up. I'm sitting on a bench outside of the supermarket on the outskirts of town." I can almost hear him run a hand through his hair, cursing himself.

"Your mom?" I tap the phone.

"Please, I just need you to pick me up." He sighs again.

"Ok, I'm coming. Don't worry. It'll take me about thirty minutes." I smile.

"Thanks." I hang up, and search deeper into my pockets. I find a pen. I find any notebook. I begin to write.

"....when I was more peppy and brave..."

"I can't love you....."

"Love hurts. Why did I get the second choice?"

"Of peace. Of prosperity."

I finally set my pen down, and breath in the cold air. A car pulls up to me, and I smile. A long haired, auburn coloured head of hair sticks out of the window.

"Come on!" I jump in the passenger seat. And we just drive. We drive in our own little world, where anything is possible. Where we are free to be ourselves. Where nobody defies us.

Where we are free and loving, driving along a sunlight road.