Behind the Scenes of my Life

Scene 1

I'm looking up at the mountains. Where will my help be coming from? (Psalm 121,1b)

I fall into bed, finally. My husband is already asleep. Originally, I wanted to read the bible, but I don't have the strength. Somehow today everything that could have gone wrong did so.
Our four-year-old Joshua wet his bed and so my day started: washing and comforting my son, who was ashamed, because he goes to kindergarten now and kindergarten-kids don't wet themselves. Oh, how much I'd love that...
During breakfast Murphy's law stroke again. My jam-bread fell – guess what - on the jam side. So next in line was cleaning the floor. Then the baby woke up and screamed like a banshee. While I was trying to calm her down, Joshua managed to stain his fresh shirt. Then he refused to wear the shirt I picked for him and went to kindergarten with an outfit that grate on my eyes.

In the meantime, Sophie had spread out her baby mash everywhere, which for me meant another round of cleaning. Around 10 am, when I finally wanted to treat myself with a cup of fresh coffee, I realized, that there wasn't a single bean to be found in the entire house. So, I dressed Sophie and put sun screen all over her, packed a huge bag to be prepared for all kinds of worst case scenarios and went on my way to the shopping center. The walk was really nice, at least something, that hadn't been terrible today.

At the store I ran into a mother from Joshua's kindergarten. She is very talkative and babbled at least half an hour while I could hardly say a word. My quick prayer for patience wasn't very beneficial either. Finally, I could free myself and went home. When I collected salt from the basement, I saw a huge pack of coffee, that would be sneering at me if it could.

After lunch, I tried to put Sophie to sleep and just when I finally succeeded it happened: Joshua's building bricks tower crashed, and Sophie woke up again. Thank God she fell back asleep quickly, but Joshua was not happy, that he couldn't play with his bricks anymore. I distracted him with his favorite book, and we colored a little. I really enjoyed this time with my son, but when I had to use the bathroom, he "beautified" the cupboard. I shouldn't be angry at him, he had no bad intentions.

When Sophie woke up from her nap, I packed my huge bag for the second time, put sun screen on both kids, and we went to the playground. I enjoyed the sun and only realized back at home that I forgot to put sun cream on myself. So, I got sun burnt. On top of that, Joshua hurt his knee. His crying inspired Sophie to cry and I tried my best to calm both children. I put a huge band aid with bears on Joshua's wound, and then we headed home.

At dinner Joshua moaned because he didn't like the vegetables and would have rather had chocolate. I could hardly listen what my husband told me about his day. While I did the dishes, I listened with one ear how Marco told the kids a story. I smiled. Marco definitely is Joshua's hero and I could feel the admiration, just as I could hear Marco's fatherly pride in his voice.

While Marco put Joshua to sleep, I was looking after Sophie. However, in contrast to Joshua, who fell asleep after 5 minutes, she refused to sleep. I sang her a lullaby and another one and after 20 songs I finally did it. I got up and Sophie woke up again. Another five songs later she went back to sleep.

Now, finally in bed going through my day again, a tear rolls down my cheek. I'm so tired, so exhausted.

I pray: "Where are you, God? What are you doing in my life?"

I fall asleep and start dreaming.