Michael had just broken up with his fiancé Ms.Whitney Houston , which he had a child with he told himself he would never love a woman again because all they ever seem to do was leave him after he had finally decided to fulfill there sexual desires t...
I hated to see her upset... but what was done was done and they're wasn't anyway I was gonna be able to fix it
"Don't touch my records"
"What about this one dad?"
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"No princess. Put that one down"
"Okay"
"Actually wait.."
"What's wrong daddy?"
"Nothing princess I'm just gonna let you hear Daddy & Mommy's song from this record"
She didn't know I called it our song but it was I remember that night I held her tight just dancing through the night as the record spun.
"What song is it daddy?"
"It's called Try me by James Brown you know daddy's idol"
I was hesitant to put the record on I knew my emotions would start to come out and my daughter Diane might have seen me cry , for some reason when it comes to my children I want to be super man , I wanted to act as if nothing hurt me just so they don't have to worry about their daddy.
As I set the record down and pressed the needle down on it gently I watched my daughter watching me
Try me try me darling tell me I need you try me try me , try me and you're love will always be true oh I need you. Hold me hold me
I felt the tear forming In my eye because my wife was on my mind and the way she was feeling I just couldn't bare to see .. so I got up from across the room taking my daughter by her hands letting her step on my shoes as we slowed dance
"You just like you're mother"
"That's a good thing right daddy"
She giggled and I smiled at her holding her closer to me
"Of course it is that means you'll be just as strong as mommy"
I finally let her see a side of me I was hiding I was vulnerable in every way , the tear from my eye I finally let fall
"What's wrong daddy?"
"You know daddy loves mommy right"
I picked up my daughter holding her looking into her big dark brown eyes that she'd gotten from my wife none the less , what do I say to her ? , I didn't wanna lie.
"Yes"
She wiped the tear from my cheek hugging me My voice started to crack
"W-Well daddy wasn't very nice to mommy all of the time so sometimes daddy lets his emotions and thoughts control him"
"Why daddy? What did you do to mommy"
What did you do to mommy
If only she knew ... Daddy's done a lot to mommy, Daddy isn't the best or the most sweet man to mommy ... but she'd never look at me the same... that proud look she gives me would suddenly disappear, I know it'll happen because I've seen it happen with my son
How could you do that to mom dad?
Why would you hurt mom, dad?
Why did you say that about mom ,dad.
I won't let any man including you hurt my mom ,dad I'm sorry.
I remember just standing their speechless the words trying to escape my mouth I'm sorry But an apology can only go so far. He didn't know I punished myself for it, and I would take that to my grave.
"Daddy, are you okay"
"I'll be okay princess , did you like the song?"
"Yes I did, why do they call that type of music the blues daddy"
"Well Princess when a singer is sad like James Brown for example he wrote songs to escape from that sadness he was feeling. It's all to escape just for awhile & let it all go for a moment. Because at night well at night James was alone & James was sad ... he didn't have anyone to speak to and he didn't really trust anyone he called his friend because of getting hurt so often"
"Do you sing the blues daddy?"
"Yes princess sometimes daddy sings the blues"
"What song of your's would you consider the blues daddy?"
"Well if I had to pick just one it would have to be Ben"
"Can you put that one daddy"
Before I could say it she was looking through my albums and then there it was in her hands, my first solo album
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Yea that was my blues ... I was the kid always looking for other kids to play outside with , always looking for a friend to get ice cream with. Just someone that would be a genuine person and say "Michael I care, I'm here" I've been told to sing about the blues since I was 9 years old , singing about love as if I had found that one special girl .. in a room full of adults.
I used to say I and me now it's us now it's we , Ben most people would turn you away , I don't listen to a word they say they don't see you as I do , I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd think again if they had a friend like Ben , like Ben
"I like that one daddy"
"Want Daddy to sing it to you?"
"Later"
I watched as my daughter yawned and rubbed her eyes I picked her back up gently in my arms carrying her out of my room walking down the hall to her room
"I know daddy has a funny way of showing it but I love you a lot"
