Check Mate

Chapter 4

I tried to think back to literally any lesson or advice I'd gotten probably at some point in my life about major panic attacks. The only thing that came up was a memory of my mom, my doctor and me at the doctor's office getting my prescription to Xanax after a major meltdown on a flight we were taking to visit family in San Antonio. This thought was unhelpful for two specific reasons; 1.) I didn't have any on me at the present moment and 2.) I don't necessarily trust it after the events of earlier today. At this point I was trying to keep myself from panicking along with Ira, who was still on the floor sounding like he was basically dying.

"What can I do?" I said for probably the hundredth time in a span of three minutes.

Ira either was ignoring me because I was the main annoyance of his existence currently, or he just couldn't answer. I think it was a combination of both.

I began to pace in the room trying to come up with literally anything that could help my friend. Water! Water helps everything! And this room was apparently stocked with it. I scanned the wall of just labeled drawers, finally I saw "water/ aqua/ eau". I tried to open the drawer/ cabinet thing, it wouldn't budge. Instead, the door of it lit up with a key pad and the words:

Please enter passcode

I stared at those words for a moment, internally screaming and wishing death to the creator of this fucking box. I looked back at Ira, he fortunately/ unfortunately was the same. He hadn't gotten worse, but he also was nowhere near okay. I tried to place myself in his shoes and what I would want a dumb fuck like me to do. So, I approached Ira carefully and did as he did earlier with me. I slowly moved his hands away from his face so he was making eye contact with me.

"I got you Ira, don't worry you're safe," I told him calmly, still holding his hands.

I continued to repeat something similar to that and reminded him to breathe. And sure enough his breathing became a little more even. Finally after a deep breath he slid his hands out of mine and rested his head against the wall with eyes closed. I stayed in front of him with my arms holding my legs and resting my chin on my knees.

"Stop staring at me," Ira murmured suddenly, making me jump. He didn't move his position or open his eyes, but he did smile softly.

"I'm not staring at you," I mumbled turning my head.

"And if I was it was only to make sure you weren't dying," I added.

"Is that your roundabout way of saying you care about me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I care about you, idiot. Have you had attacks like this often?"

Ira shook his head, "I haven't been in an enclosed space in awhile," he replied simply.

"I'm gonna kill Carter and Sam next time I see them, they truly fucked you up," I said angrily.

"Don't worry my mom guilts them to this day about the trauma they put on her 'baby'."

"I might just kill your brothers anyways, they are jackasses," Ira laughed, a good sign that the worst was over. He moved his head away from the wall and opened his eyes to look at me.

"Do you remember the last time I had a panic attack around you?"

I tried to think back, but I was coming up blank. He laughed again.

"That figures, you probably weren't even aware I was having one being how goddamn dense you are. It was at Gloria Splinelli's house party, it was Claudia's brilliant idea to play 7 Minutes in Heaven, but blindfolded," Ira stopped there seeing that a light bulb clicked on.