poetry <3

Amnesia

Love or lust?
I can't decide
You use your anger as a way out
And I always run into your arms, nothing new

You make me whole, yet break me down
"You're not good enough" as you'd say
Came at me like rapid bullets
And I was too late to realize

Lust is no hesitation
Fast kisses, heartbeats rapid
No commitment, yet...lust
I'll never understand

But bloody fingernails, and blood shot eyes
A Bruised heart and insecure thoughts
That- That is love
Why is it so hard to show-

Guilt kicks in knowing I hate the way I'm treated
But it's an endless cycle I'm willing to take
Certain ways my body moves with you
I just want to scream, I want to be invisible

But- I love you
I love the person you were before at 2pm
In the car, around 5 pm you quietly died out
You were my light, shingling through a smile

But now, a candle dying out
It's 11pm and I still love you
But now that you're gone
Someone has to pick up the pieces

Square one
But this time, I want to learn
to love myself...

You make me whole, yet break me down
"You're not good enough"
Came at me like rapid bullets
And I was too late to realize

You are/were me.