Wildfire

Chapter 46 (Part I)

46. Extract (Part I)

I kept waiting for the phone call. The one that would tell me my grandmother's body had been found. That she was dead. That she was even missing. The few times my ring tone sounded, I flinched, but the call never came. It was like she simply vanished, disappearing without a trace.

Each second became a matter of placing one foot in front of the other, placing one more forkful of food in my mouth. Each heartbeat hurt, like a constant thrum of pain in my chest. It felt like Diego and I sleepwalked through the rest of the week, like two ghosts silently inhabiting his apartment.

We spent each night curled around each other, clinging to each moment even as it was swept away by time. Even our movements were edged with defeat; both of us had given up and there was nothing the other could do to rectify that.

But there was a bitter-sweetness to our resignation; there was no arguments, no anger, no hate... only a melancholic love that flooded my icy blood and kept my heart beating for another day.

______________

I called my father on Friday morning from a payphone outside Diego's apartment. Diego was out having breakfast with Madalena; she believed he was trying to mend their relationship but I knew he was really saying goodbye. His relationship with her had been irreparably damaged over her treatment of Adalia and her refusal to believe him, but he still loved her. She was his mother, after all.

The phone rang three times before he picked up, the sound of static echoing in the background.

"Paige," he said simply.

I inhaled slowly and rested my elbow against the glass wall of the phone booth. The words stuck in my throat; not because I was reluctant to say them, but because of what it would mean when they were said. He was the only family I had left, the last link I had to my heritage and I had always loved him, even as I hated him. I had given up trying to make sense of my past, but meeting him in Brainerd had offered me some inkling of hope that maybe he would be a part of my future.

But once the words were out of my mouth, that future would be ripped away from me for good. Maybe my memories would be taken from me or my mind reset, but he would remember. He would remember my betrayal.

He would remember that I chose the monster who killed my grandmother over him.

I felt tears pool in my eyes, emotion threatening to break through the barricade I'd locked it all behind.

He'll find out eventually, I reasoned with myself. I had chosen to tell him earlier in case he decided to come for me himself — and I couldn't have him here, I couldn't have him around Diego. I had already lied to Diego in an attempt to keep them apart. If Diego found out the truth about my connection to my father... there was no doubt in my mind that he would hunt my father down.

A shudder ran through me. Some of us had to make it out of this mess. I couldn't save Diego but I could save my father.

After a long moment, I inhaled shakily. "I choose him. I'm sorry."

The phone line went dead.

_________________

Diego left early on Saturday morning to make preparations for his upcoming fight. He made it sound like he was supervising the seating arrangements ahead of time or something, but I saw right through his act. He was putting his affairs in order.

He caught the look on my face and kissed my forehead, his sigh weary.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like?" I had whispered against his chest.