falling for you\\ elmax

"feelings"

feelings. i noticed my feelings for eleven began to grow more and more. i knew i needed to tell her soon. it's been a couple years, i think i need to confront el with my feelings. however, i'm not sure if she even feels the same towards me. but that didn't matter now. i decided i would tell her this weekend, the weekend of our sleepover. i was nervous. i was so nervous i that i thought i wouldn't even be able to do it. i was scared. what if she didn't feel the same? what if she got weirded out by me? what if we weren't friends after i told her how i felt? what if she told the rest of the party? so many thoughts raced through my mind. i needed to do this i felt like i had to.

it was friday. i sat at home, waiting for el. my heart raced. i tapped my foot on the ground. i bit my fingernails. i looked at my watch. 3:00pm. i looked out the window to see hoppers car outside my house. i saw him tell el goodbye. they hugged and she grabbed her bag from the back of the car. i shut the curtains quickly and went to the front door. as i opened it, hopper was already halfway out of my driveway and el was walking up to the door. she looked up and smiled.
"hey max!" she said with a sweet voice. i smiled.
"hey el." i said. she walked into my room. as we walked in i shut the door. she set her bags down on my floor.
"so..." she said, falling on my bed. "what do we do?" she asked. i took a deep breath.
"eleven, i need to tell you-."
"ooh! we should go for a walk!" she exclaimed happily. i hesitated.
"yeah, a walk is fine." i said. eleven hopped up from my bed and grabbed my hand and led me to the front door.

we were soon outside walking. she looked around.
"look at the sunset!" she said gladly. i looked. it really was beautiful it was a nice orange mixed with some yellow, red and pink. i smiled and looked at el. the sunset reminded me of how beautiful el really is. i remembered what i wanted to do.
"el...." i said sighing. she turned to me, smiling.
"what's up, max?" she asked. i looked at my feet nervously. i couldn't believe i was about to do this.
"el, i've been wanting to tell something to you." i said nervously. she looked at me with her soft brown eyes. i felt myself falling into them.
"i like you." i said suddenly. she continued to look at me. she grinned.
"i like you too, max!" she exclaimed. i shook my head.
"n-no, i like, like you." i said. eleven became confused.
"i don't understand-."
"i have a crush on you, el." i said. "i always have, ever since the night of the snowball i realized i loved you." eleven bit her lip.
"max, i-." she started. i rubbed my arm. i became sweaty, worried about the outcome. she had a blank face.
"should we start getting back?" she said, pointing towards the direction of my home. i looked back sadly.
"yeah," i said frowning. "let's go." we both walked back awkwardly not saying a word.

i was sad. i was really sad. i knew it was stupid of me to admit my feelings. it was all stupid. i felt like i just ruined our friendship. i wanted to cry into my pillow. every time i looked at eleven, she wasn't looking back. i knew she didn't feel the same. god, am i stupid? the rest of our sleepover, we talked a bit but not as much as we do.

it was the next morning. hopper honked his horn. el grabbed her bags quickly. we both walked to the door. i opened it and el waved to hopper. she turned to me slowly.
"bye max." she said. i scratched my head.
"bye el, look i'm sorry about-."
"max, it's fine." she said. i nodded. she ran to the car. i waved to el with a smile. hopper waved to me. eleven gave me a small awkward wave. i frowned. they drove away. the second eleven left my home i ran to my room, crying. i just hoped things would get better.