Date Night ;) [BatJokes]

An Intriguing Intermission

Bruce's POV

"Get a little too hot to handle there Bat-Babe?"

"Don't call me that, Joker. I've played your delusional games, where is Alfred?" I stand tall and secretly get a batarang ready.

"And I thought we were getting somewhere, wasn't it nice to just, talk? Relax even? Don't lie to me by telling me you didn't enjoy tonight. We've been through too much together for lies now."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Joker sounded like a jilted lover, not like the cold-blooded genocidal maniac I knew. This was genuine. I think that unsettled me the most. Did I enjoy tonight? I honestly think I did. But it was only caused by a hostage situation. ALFRED.

"To be honest, I did have a good night. But it's over. Give me Alfred's location and I'll let you go without giving you in to the GCPD or Arkham. NOW, Joker."

Joker looked at me defeated. "Bruce I-" he whispered before I cut him off, waving my hand. "No more games. TELL ME" I yelled, he visibly shook. He can't seriously be CRYING, can he? I turn my back on him "please tell me where he is. You know what he means to me." I all but sigh.

"Top floor of Grundy 805, 7th Avenue"

"What?" I spin on my heel to face him but he's gone. I sprint to my car and speed to the address, Lo and Behold Alfred is inside, tied to a chair. I untie him and we drive home.

"Master Bruce," Alfred interrupts my thoughts, "Are you alright?"

"I should ask you the same, did anything happen while I was... indisposed?"

"I should think not, I woke up alone, tied to a chair with a note on my lap that said 'Gone Fishing' written in crayon, next to a picture of you as a fish and him as a fisherman. I don't believe I will ever be able to unsee it."

I stifle a laugh before the realisation hits me. There was no threat to Alfred. That was all for Nothing. But, maybe it wasn't? Maybe the only way to show, was to simulate peril. To get me to drop my guard. Hell, for a while I forgot there was any peril real or imaginary.

Damn you, Joker. Made me fall for you.

Forget that last bit, sleep deprived horny bastard.

Horny? GODDAMMIT.

-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-+×+-

Weeks pass and no-one hears from the Clown Prince of Crime. I'm getting worried. Not that the lowest crime rate ever recorded in Gotham isn't worrying enough.

I hate to admit it, but I think I'm in love. It sounds like a shitty Rom Com, or a fanfic written by a horny teenager. But it's true. He... completes me? Sees me? Knows me? I mean, it's not physical, he looks like a clown for God's sake. He just, he's, perfect.

"Bat-Babe! Fancy seeing you in a place like this?"

Holy shit the joker is in my house. In my study. And I'm watching Love Island.

I'm Boned.
;)))))
FUCK OFF BRAIN.

"Joker piss off I'm watching Chris and Harley bake on a date." I'm not sure where that came from, but I do actually enjoy this gobshite.

"Sorry brucey, didn't know you you like far-from-reality TV. Is this a bad time?" Joker said with a pout. I got up from my desk, swiftly turned the TV off, right at the good bit, too and stood inches away from him, almost a head and a half taller than him. He looks slightly scared, but no matter.

"What. Do. You. Want." I snarl. Not as menacing without my Bat suit, still does the trick though. I pray my heart isn't as loud to him as it is to me, pounding in my ear.

"Brucey, Brucey, Brucey, I thought that was obvious. You"

Okay, that one's new.