One Chapter Ends

Chapter Thirteen

great achievements are hard to believe in

happiness is the one drug we are reluctant to take

pushing yourself down is easy

lifting yourself up takes some real steel

The sun was long gone and the twinkle lights were the only glow in the store. She'd been working for hours, with the only interruption being a call from her mother to finalise their brunch date for her birthday. Hazel punched the last key and sat back, feeling numb. It was done. The first draft of Brian's memoirs was finished.

As she pulled the sheet out and placed it under the others, a quote she'd read once danced across her mind: There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

It was true, after all. But it hadn't been her blood going into the words on the page – it had been Brian's. She had simply been the vessel it had chosen to pass through.

I wonder if I'll write my own memoirs one day, she thought, musingly. And if I'll feel just as exhausted as I do now when they're finished. Lifting the pile of paper off the desk, she bounced it gently against the wood until the pages were even. There were at least a hundred pages there. Carefully, she reached over with one hand and grabbed an elastic band. Stretching it over the pages, she edged it down until it was halfway, then let go. It smacked the paper gently.

For a moment, Hazel sat there at the desk under the glow of fifty twinkle lights, soaking in the moment. She'd written a book. An actual, living, breathing, book.

Her phone rang, making her jump. Lifting it to her ear, she continued to stare at the pages. "Hello?"

"Hey." Theo's voice was warm in her ear. She smiled. "How's it going? Are you still at the store?"

"Yeah, I am." Sighing, she told him, "It's finished."

A moment of silence passed, then Theo said, "Granddad's memoirs?"

"Yeah. They're done. I'm holding the first draft in my hands."

"Wow." Then – "Wow."

"I know," she replied, closing her eyes. "I'm a bit stunned, too."

"No, I meant 'wow' as in, 'wow, my girlfriend is amazing'," he corrected her. "Hazel, you just wrote a whole book. Not many people can claim they've done that."

A smile spread across her face. "I just wrote a book."

"You did." There was a grin in his voice.

"Would you want to read over it for me?" she asked, suddenly. "The whole thing? I need someone else's opinion and some feedback."

"Me? Shouldn't my granddad be doing that?" Theo sounded bemused.

"No. I want to give him the finished copy, when I've edited and edited it and it's beyond perfect. I want you to read it." She hesitated. "You'll be honest with me, won't you? Even if it sucks?"

"Hazel, it won't suck."

"You don't know that." The numbness disappeared and Hazel felt pure fear enter her blood. "I've just written your grandfather's memoirs. This isn't even a story I made up. If it were, it wouldn't matter if I made mistakes. What if I didn't do him justice? What if I fucked it up? What if–"

"You're totally overreacting and I haven't even read it yet?" Theo finished for her. "Well, I can tell you that that last one is the only one that actually has a 100% chance of happening. Take a breath. Relax."