Closer

Chapter Eleven.

I lift my head up and groaned. I guess I woke up from the thunder claps. I looked around and thankfully the night light that emits the whole room is still on.

I hate to sleep in the dark. And mostly I hate to be alone and woke up in the middle of the night without anyone next to me. I tried to perfected my fear by turning on the lights and staring at my beautiful ceilings and it definitely took me a while to learn that the hard way. But in times like this, suddenly the world around me became so big and filled with questions I caved in and hide away from the world again. For almost four days in a row, I keep seeing the same man with no face while I was asleep. I couldn't sleep at all. I shouldn't be looking at those videos before going to sleep.

But, unlike the other night I seemed to have recognised what's wrong with me quicker than usual. I felt cold gripping on my toes and crawled up on my legs and to my arms. I felt a cold sweat dripping down from my head and down to my spine. I was breathing hard, because breathing feels like toxic to me at this moment. Sometimes my body refused to listen to my brain. So, the faster I know how I feel, the better for me.

I reach out to my nightstand where I keep my pills and water. I could easily reach for the pill box. But I turn my head to see that I have no water left for the meds. One thing my mom taught me ever since I was a little kid was that, "Always take your medicine with plenty of water." She taught me tips and tricks about every little thing that I would ignored easily.

I pushed myself up from the bed and take a long deep breath before I grab the pill box and walk down the kitchen. My eyes catch the glimpse of the wall clock hanging on my bedroom wall.

It's 1:30 a.m already.

I've been working with so many of my work stuff and my school works. I could barely catch a breath and sleeps these days.

As I was walking down the kitchen, suddenly I heard my doorbell ringing. I stood frozen in spot and stare at the door as if it should open by itself. I keep moving towards the kitchen and open the monitor box.

"Who is it?" I pushed the speaker button while I keep on watching the person behind that door. I couldn't see the face but I know he or she is not very intimidating. Just by how their forehead is barely showing.

"It's Riley. Nathan? I'm sorry, I think I forgot my usb drive somewhere on your coffee table yesterday. I have my assignments that's due tomorrow.."

I ignored her excuses and let her in by buzzing her in. It's too late for ranting.

There's one thing I can't tolerate, someone who is so out of order. I take the pill and flush it down with water while I was waiting for her to come inside. The rain is pouring outside, how did she even get in here or out of her house in the middle of the night?

I leaned on the counter, crossing my arms to my chest. Feeling the water and the medicine slowly makes its way to do their job.

She came in, wearing a big grey hoodie, it was so big that I couldn't even tell whether she wears pants or not. She's wearing a black slides, just like the one I used to wear. She has no make up on her face but her lips are just like the one I used to remember, full and red.

I could kiss them until they bleed. I swallowed to the thought of that. Yesterday, I drew the lines of our proportion way bigger than I anticipate. Making thought of that embarrassment while she make it to the kitchen with a hint of shyness I caused her before.

She still remembers!

Her big eyes stare into mine and smiled cheekily,

"I know I should've called, but—i forgot my phone." She stuttered. Quickly looking away from me and blush.

I cleared my voice before I drown myself too deep into her looks and mumbles, "I'm sure that's true. Help yourself out and make sure to close the door before you left." I started to walk towards the stairs since my medicine starts to kick in to my system.

She started to look around the living room, looking under the coffee table, under the couch, the carpet and everywhere. I couldn't stop myself from staring at her beautiful face. She scrunched up her nose and then bite her lips out of frustration.

"Any luck?" I spoke, involuntarily.

She look up and stare at me with her beautiful green eyes. Her face stands for itself. If the assignment's really due tomorrow then, she's honest to the gods fucked at this point.

"I must've dropped it somewhere else. I'm so sorry to bother you.." she trailed off. Biting her lips hard, stitching her eyebrows and think hard.

"What's the assignments?" I asked, I don't know why I even bother but I can't help it.

"Mr. Frank's class." She mumbles. I almost laugh at that. She still have that assignments? Half of the class are already done with that, what was she been doing all this time?

"I still have my draft. You could work on some dates and numbers but it's pretty good." I suggest, hoping she could stay a little longer.

She click her tongue and then sighed, "You go get your rest. Maybe i left them at school or something. Anyway, thanks!" She gave me a slow wave as she walks back to the entrance.

As i watched her moving towards the door, i felt a tinged of warmth left inside my heart. When anyone left me my heart turns cold and lonely, but that little girl left me a certain feelings I've never felt to anyone before.

Can i be okay without her?

"Wait!" I stopped her in track.

She turns back to face me,

"How did you even get here?" I asked and she sighed, "I sleepover at Samantha's. I couldn't sleep and tried to finish the paper." She said and I noticed that all the cute little too big shirt and sloppy slides makes sense now.

"I'm sorry, again. I seemed to be misplaced a lot of things lately. Hey...are you okay?" She looked at me and i quickly backed up.

She came forward and stretch her arm towards me and before she could touch it, I could feel it.

"Your nose is bleeding!" She gasp and then rush back to the kitchen.

I sit down on the couch and sighed, resting my head with a stack of pillow. She came back with some tissue box and sat down near beside me.

She slowly cleaned out my nose and carefully pressed it with her small hands.

"Do you have this often?" She asked and I shakes my head.

"Did you catch enough sleeps?" She continues to ask questions like a nurse.

I chuckled, "No, ma'am." And look her in the eyes.

I can feel the pills begins to pull me from below as I felt like sitting here forever. She small hands are on my chest as I hold her tight. And then, I drifted off to sleep.