When two worlds collide

Chapter 3

Alec's pov

"Where have you been? I have been so worried that something happened to you, when you weren't here when we arrived", was the first thing I heard when I walked inside the Institute.

"I'm sorry sis, I needed to clear my head", I answered and hugged my worried little sister to reassure that I was alright. "Where's Jace? I really need to apologize from him", I asked. "He's in training hall", Izzy answered knowing look on her face. I nodded to thank her and headed to the hall.

When I opened the doors, I saw Jace training with Simon. Jace punched Simon's nose and it started to bleed. "Hey! You broke my nose, again!" Simon shouted to Jace and tried to stop the bleeding. "You should cover your nose better", Jace answered with a smirk.

Then I coughed to get their attention. They both looked at me and Jace turned around to get water and ignored me totally. "Could you give us a second?" I asked from Simon. He got my hint and said " yeah, sure. I forgot my stele in my jeans pocket anyway." He looked me reassuring expression on his face as he walked away.

"I'm, eerh, I'm sorry from earlier today. I shouldn't have lashed out to you like that." He still stood back to me and said nothing. I felt my anger to grow when he didn't respond. I calmed myself down, thinking about how badly I really wanted to make things right between us and continued

"You did the right thing, despite what I said earlier. He would have killed me, if you hadn't got there in time. And I would have died because of my stupidy. Even though I created the plan, I didn't follow it, which was irresponsible and it led you and Izzy danger and I'm really sorry about it."

He slowly turned to face me and his had mixed emotions on his face. Anger towards me and my lash out but also concern. He was worried about me. I felt so small, I really didn't deserve his or Izzy's worry because how I have acted towards them.

"I was really worried about you buddy. You are my parabatai. I don't know how I will survive after you get yourself killed after one of those situations. You are so impulsive. And your impulses have grown worse and worse. Can't you control them?" Jace asked worried.

I sat down and said "No Jace, I can't control them anymore. Do you think that I don't know how bad my condition has gone? Because I do. I really want to be a good leader, a good person. I don't want people to hate me, to despise me. But I can't help them. I get annoyed small things, even things that I do myself and I blame someone else. And then I lash out. I have even started to use my Alpha voice, even though it's not necessary. And I hate myself for that. People aren't doing things for me because they respect me, they are doing this because they are scared of me. You and Izzy know me better than anyone and know that I'm not like this. This is not who I am. Sometimes I wish that I wouldn't got to see the day I turned. After that everything has just go downhill really bad. Why am I like this? There must be something wrong with me" I buried my face in my hands when I felt tear roll down my cheek. I felt so frustrated.

"Why I couldn't control them? Their life would have been so much easier without my bursts."

He placed his hand on my back when he sat besides me. He was bit shocked about my outburst. I rarely spoke like that nowadays. Now he understood me better. Because, even though, he didn't wanted to admit but sometimes he thought he had lost me when I turned to Alpha. But now he knew, I was still there. He would do anything to help his parabatai.

"There's nothing wrong with you. I know there is some logical explanation to this. But before we find the permanent solution, I think we should consider some temporary solutions for your impulses", Jace said with the softest tone, I have ever heard from him.

"We?" I asked shocked and looked in his eyes. "Yes, we, idiot. Of course I help you. How do else you though finding answers when I am not around?" Jace smirked and Alec laughed. "I'm always gonna be there for you.", he said smiling and got Alec smile too. "Thanks Jace, that means a lot to me."

We hugged. When we parted, I said "I have thought about temporaly solutions and I think, I'm not going missions anymore. I act before I think and I risk your lives for no reason. I don't want you or anyone else to get hurt because of me."

Jace frowned. He couldn't believe what Alec has said. The missions were important to Alec. But at the same time, it showed, how badly he wanted to change.

"I also have been thinking trying meditate or something. Now I know, I need help and I'm ready to test anything." Jace was about to answer when Institute's alarm started to ring.