College, Paris, and Unplanned Relationship(s)

College or Bust

Unprepared for the morning and completely unaware of the time, my alarm woke me to the sound of some unknown music artist on the AM radio station.  I grunted and rolled over towards the singing piece of junk that had disturbed my rest to aggressively slap the snooze button.  I knew that I wouldn't be going back to sleep, but the sound was still annoying and the snooze button was half an inch closer than the button to stop the alarm.  I lied groggily in bed and looked up at the ceiling.  I was not yet ready to get up, but alas!  Duty calls.

Within the first thirty seconds of my alarm, my phone sounded with a text notification.  At the second noise, my roommate groaned.  She threw a pillow in my direction, but it hardly dented her mountain of pillows she kept in her bed.  She argued that she needed that many, but I believed that every person in the world could have a pillow with the amount of them that she kept on her bed.  I ducked out of the way and the soft mass hit the wall behind me with an almost silent thunk.

"Can't you shut that stuff up and leave to class?"

"Sorry, Jade."

"You should be," she joked, "just because you have an 8:00 AM doesn't mean that I do!"

I gave her a look that was somewhat in between annoyed and amused, but she simply giggled and pulled her blankets back up and over her head.  Her curly brown hair disappeared under the covers just as she had, and just as quickly as she had emerged she was gone once again.  I wished that I could return to sleep, and I envied that she could just close her eyes and return to the land of dreams.  I hadn't been dreaming, but I could have at least been sleeping!

I let out a deep sigh.  Something about the first day of school was always tiring.  Even though it was technically my sophomore year, it was a new school and new crowd.  Previously I had just went to the community college that was near my parent's house, but I decided pretty quickly that I had wanted to be away from my home town.  I had spent every day there from elementary school to high school graduation, and my heart needed a break.  In my home town I had a boyfriend that I had dated all throughout high school, but right before school ended we had broken up.  He had cheated with my best friend, and neither felt remorse for what they had done even after they had been caught.  The break up left me shattered, and being home was like being traumatized all over again when every place seemed contaminated by his memory.  I couldn't stand being there, and even after he had moved to a different school for college home just didn't feel like home anymore.  I wanted to be somewhere else, so the college I now attended was a couple of hours away.  It was just close enough that I could get help from my parents if I needed it, but it was also just far enough that I could live without dredging up the past every day that I existed.

I finally got up the determination to get out of bed, and as soon as I did I opened up my phone screen.  Inside was a message from my best friend Vince.

You excited for the first day?

I snorted and my fingers flew across the keyboard to text back.

As excited as I will be.  We still on for lunch today?

I watched the text screen bubble with the three dots while Vince typed a message back.

Maya.  When have I ever missed our first day of school lunch?

Good point.  I'll see you after class.

I threw my phone on the bed and moved to my closet.  I dug through my clothes to find an outfit that I felt like wearing, but as usual there was nothing that I was in the mood for.  I made a face and gave up on trying to look cute for my first day.  I instead chose to reach for my go to outfit, and that included a beat up yellow hoodie that was a couple sizes too big for me, a pair of dark indigo jeans, and my black and white converse.  I checked the mirror for a brief moment and contemplated whether today was a makeup kind of day.  I ran a brush roughly through my dark brown hair, and I patted my cheeks to give them a slight blush amidst my naturally tan skin.  I opted out of the makeup and grabbed my backpack.  I stuffed all of my books inside of the bag and zipped it closed after throwing in all of my favorite pens and highlighters.  I always felt that I could do well in any class that I had a good pen in.  Ink that was a color other than black, red, or blue was a plus.  I checked the time and it read 7:47 AM.  I quickly zipped my bag and bolted out the door after clicking it shut behind me.  

I jogged across campus to reach my first class.  It was a psychology class, which made sense because I was a psychology major.  It was a little ironic, because despite the fact that I wanted to study everyone else's brains I still never have a clue on how to navigate my own life or emotions.

I turned the corner and was immediately greeted by warm air when I got into the building.  It was only autumn, but already the school had turned on the heat.  I checked the time once again.  It was 7:58AM.  I checked my schedule to find the number for my classroom, and I quickly slid my way into an open seat in the front next to the aisle and a girl that had also bravely sat there.  I never had minded the front row because I liked to interact during class.  Professors generally liked me because I did my work and I tried hard to participate in class even if I wasn't fond of the subject.  Just as I sat down the clock struck eight and the professor on the dot entered the room and began lecturing.

I let out a quiet sigh this time, and eased myself deeper into the seat while I began to take notes.  I had a feeling that this was going to be a long school year.

My phone buzzed, and the professor only stopped lecturing for one moment to glare at me before he began again.  I blushed a little.  Perhaps this wasn't the best start for myself in this class, but I promised myself that I would make up for it.  After about five minutes had passed, I slid my phone out of my hoodie pocket and peered at it discreetly.  The message was once again from Vince.

What should we get for lunch?

I rolled my eyes.  Vince had gotten me in trouble for many things as my best friend over the years, but he had already gotten me in trouble for this?  I scoffed at how entirely pointless and mindless the message was, but I still answered it.

Let's just go to the school cafeteria.  I haven't tried it yet but I do want to.

Aw yeah, man.  That's what I'm talking about.  I heard they have all you can eat pizza, and let me tell you Maymay that they are NOT ready for this appetite!

You're freshman fifteen will be more like the freshman fifty.

I'm shooting for five hundred.

I couldn't stop myself from snickering and once again the professor stared me down.  I looked down at my notebook intently as if I didn't know he was watching me, but my cheeks were hardly as secretive and they flushed immediately.  For a sophomore I was pretty much acting like a freshman.  I internally kicked myself, and the professor after a long moment went back to speaking about whatever topic he had chosen for the day.  For whatever reason, I wasn't paying much attention.  After I had finished texting, I began to daydream.

I had always dreamed that if college didn't work that I would go to Paris.  Paris was the city of love, and everything about it sparkled and reflected success and paradise.  I didn't see it as just a vacation spot, but I thought of it as a dream home.  I could imagine all the scenery and all the tasty food.  I could almost feel the touch of a pair of soft lips meeting mine and a late evening sipping wine under the stars.

Yet, I had first chosen college.  If college didn't work, then I would go to Paris; however, I wanted to give college a chance.  Even though the year hadn't started all that great in class, I had hope.  I didn't want to let any boy ruin it for me, and I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity of a life time just because I got hung up from a moody professor.

This year was going to be my year.  One way or another, it would be my year.