Reckless Hearts

Chapter 36

You stood at the edge of the lake. Your mind was in turmoil. Trying to decide what you should do for the best. You had no idea how long you had been gazing out onto the lake, the calmness of the lake at odds with your thoughts running through your mind.

"Kara? Baby girl, there you are, I wondered where you were." Dutch observed, as he walked towards you.

You closed your eyes, trying to calm your heart beat, which felt like it was about to explode from your chest.

You felt his hand on your shoulder, "Kara?" he questioned.

You turned your head, and looked at him, tears now streaming down your face.

Dutch placed his hand on your cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb.

"Baby girl, whatever is the matter." he soothed.

"I...I d...don't want you to hate me," you stuttered, unable to stop from sobbing.

Dutch frowned, "Why would I hate you?"

You took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant," you blurted.

Dutch took his hand away from your cheek, and stared at you, an expressionless look on his face. He opened his mouth, to speak. But no words came out.

You buried your face in your hands, "I knew you would hate me, your gonna leave me, just like my daddy left my mama. But I'm not gonna hate this baby, like my mama hated me, I'm gonna love it. Even if their daddy don't." You sobbed.

Dutch walked and stood in front of you, and pulled your hands away from your face.

"No Kara baby, that's not it at all," he wrapped his arms around you. He put one hand at the back of your head, and pulled your head into his chest.

"I could never hate you, and I'm nothing like your daddy. I wont run out on you, I love you," he soothed. "This baby is gonna be loved, by both of us, I promise you."

You looked up at Dutch, "please don't say that, if you don't mean it," you begged.

Dutch let his hands drop, before holding both of your hands in his.

"I won't lie to you baby girl, this isn't the best timing for us to be havin' a baby. But I swear this baby will be loved and I will do everything I can to find us a place to raise them safely."

Dutch cupped your cheek in his hand, and pressed his lips to yours, in a long and lingering kiss. Rubbing your back with his other hand, in an attempt to calm you.

When your lips parted, Dutch wrapped his arm around your waist. "c'mon, let go back and see if we can find something to help with the sickness."

You rested your head on Dutch's shoulder, as you walked back towards the centre of the camp.

When you reached the centre of camp, Dutch guided you to the table, close to his tent.

You sat down at the table. You looked around, there was no sign of Hosea or Arthur.

"where are Hosea and Arthur," you asked.

Dutch smiled, "Don't you worry about them, you just worry about yourself and junior," he said, gently rubbing your stomach. "Have you eaten anything today?" he asked.

You shook your head. "I was too sick this morning, then..."

Dutch smiled, "stay there, I'll find you something to eat."

You smiled back, as you watched him walk over towards Pearson's wagon. You wondered if everything was actually going to be OK.

You laid your arms on the table and rested your head on them. With all the emotional turmoil you had been through today, your eyes grew heavy, and you slowly drifted to sleep.