Her.

coffee and emotional exhaustion sounds nice

The hours of my shift seep by and before I know it, I'm walking home.

"I'm not just here for you."

What is that supposed to mean? She's here for me and something else? I'm not even relevant as to why she was there? I'm not even sure I have a crush on her but she didn't have to reject me so hard. Maybe I got too clingy and I pushed her away. I've only technically known for a couple hours so how could I have gotten attached. Then again, it doesn't take me long to that for me.

What if she was weirded out? Oh my god she knows I'm gay. She was grossed out and now she's going to out me. She probably told Nathan. She could probably tell from a mile away that I am ever so slightly crushing hard on Eris.

Then why would she flirt with me? Or was that even flirting? Maybe her and Nathan are just trying to get me to make a fool of myself. Why, why, why? Why did I have to be interested in her?

"Amelia!"

My mother is standing in the doorway, more disheveled than usual. Her grey suit is wrinkled and her tie and suit jacket are somewhere else to be found. Her ash brown hair tiptoes on her shoulders.

"You've been standing in front of the door for five minutes." Her voice aches in my ears and I want to give her a hug.

"You have to stop being so irresponsible, you're going off to college soon and no one's going to be there to snap you out of it."

A husky voice I know all too well echoes from the living room, "You mean when she stays here after high school and settles down with someone."

She turns and hollers back, "Not right now, Don."

I can hear a dissatisfied grunt from inside and she turns back to me, looking bewildered and disappointed all at the same time.

I don't have the will to respond to her. All the thoughts that had been lingering in my head earlier are storming through my head right now. Part of me wants to hole up in my room and cry.

I haven't zoned out like that since my sophomore year and that terrifies me. When I zone out, I don't take notice of where I am and I can keep walking for hours.

My eyes finally drift away from one of the wrinkles on mom's shirt and my brain finally registers that I'm home.

Slowly, as if my body is dragging me forward, I wrap my arm's around my mother, letting silent tears brush down my face. I feel her arms jut out in surprise. It only lasts for a second though, and soon enough her arms wrap around me in return.

I nestle myself further into her chest, and her chin rests on my head in return. I let myself exhale internally in her embrace and I can't remember the last time she held me like this.

After what feels like a lifetime, I pull away from her, feeling her warmth leave my body. I glance up at her and her eyes narrow at me. Her brows furrow in confusion.

"Did something happen at school?"

"No."

"Did someone do something to you?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

I try to push past her, wanting to get away from the questions. She crosses her arm and blocks the door.

"Well something must of happened or you wouldn't have zoned out like that."

I tap my foot against the wooden panels of the front porch, "I don't want to talk about it."