a book about a boy i love(d)

the final chapter

Hello. I started this book a few years ago. I wrote many of my poems in 2017 when I first fell in love. I published this book a few months ago when I was at the peak of being in love, I should think. At that moment, I couldn't remember why I felt that way, but all I knew was that I loved him, in ways I couldn't even describe if I had tried to.  

I fell in love with him, because he was my best friend. I wanted him to be happy, and I don't know what kind of love that is, and I won't pretend to. I cannot explain what I felt justifiably enough.

Now, August 2019. He fell out of love. I don't know if he had ever loved me in the first place, or if he even remembered I loved him, but he fell out of love. Instead, he fell in love with another girl. And he left me.

No, I won't go into detail, but I think it is needless to say that the reason why I write is gone. A big part of me is gone. And I don't think I will get it back. I don't love what I do anymore, and I lost everything.

I hope you forgive me, for abandoning what once made me happy. But I think that if you were in my position, you wouldn't want to remember what I had either.