𝘚𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 | 𝘈 𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁²

JANUARY 12TH, 20XX

I have always been known as emotional. It remains a part of me I'm trying to erase - no matter how hard it may be. Emotions, feelings and opinions were a taboo and we were all expected to blindly follow the every move of society. One step out of line and you were deemed unworthy of every breath you take.

Brutal it was, to say the least. For now though, although I'm uncertain of success in becoming an emotionless mannequin - one that only ever smiles for others and never oneself, I will try my best. Even if I know I can't, I'll try. Not for me but for my brothers suffering the same thing in silence, not having a voice to object. One wrong move from me and we would all come crashing down. Our hard work, our blood, sweat and tears, the effort we put into making ourselves perfect would all dissolve into the very epitome of nothingness.

Colour in this warped world has become like an oasis in a desert. Everything, every part of our souls were created with emotion and colour, yet we all pretend to be the same. Never could I understand why and how it started but I've seen this practice all too often that sometimes I start to wonder if we would just lose colour at some point of time.

Curling up in a ball in the corner with only my own thoughts accompanying me, I sigh. I'm fine. I tell myself that every single day that "I'm fine." It was frustrating. The cycle of lying, crying and piecing myself together again was an everyday routine.

My mind wanders and I think of the many people who love me for who I am on stage.The only reason why I wouldn't let myself free was because I shouldn't ruin my image because of the bottled up sentiment hiding within me. I must smile - even if it becomes the most painful thing to do. I must erase me.

A/N Wowie second update! There's more than 120 reads already! I'm really proud of this but at the same time, it could just be me re-reading this over and over. >~< Anyway, hope you enjoyed!