7. 𝓜𝔂 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓣𝓸 𝓤

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"ℋℯ 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓈ℯ𝒹 𝓂ℯ...𝒷𝒶𝒹𝓁𝓎..𝓋ℯ𝓇𝒷𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝒽𝓎𝓈𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎. "

August 18, 1992

Rochester, NY
9:00pm

Izzah. "Izzy"

I ran out of the studio in DeVante's basement and straight to the front porch

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I ran out of the studio in DeVante's basement and straight to the front porch. I plopped down on the steps and burried my face into my hands. I can't believe he just humiliated me like that! I know the boys told us before that DeVante can be a bit tough in the studio but damn. A couple of seconds later I felt someone sit next to me and began to softly rub my back. I didn't even bother to look up because frankly I didn't care.

"Izzy are you okay?" I instantly recognized their voice. It's Xina.

"No...I'm not Xi. You know what I've been through you know I'm sensitive to that aggressive shit," I sobbed, wiping some tears from my face. There are things that have occurred in my life that have made me who I am today. There's a reason why I'm so quiet, there's a reason why I'm soo sensitive.

"I know Mamacita, but maybe he's just going through something. Remember earlier when that girl showed up here and he looked pissed off? Maybe it's that," she continued to rub small circles on my back.

I shrugged.

"Maybe, but he only yelled at me. Why would he take his anger out on me..what the hell did I do?"

"Nothing Izzy, you did absolutely nothing. I wish I knew why he screamed at you like that too but I'm just as confused as you are."

I didn't say anything else, we just sat in silence while I calmed myself down. The sound of my sniffles filled the space occasionally. I looked up at the stars in the night sky and blinked a few times letting some excess tears fall. A few moments later the front door behind us opened slowly, brightening up the dark space we sat in. I turned my head to see who it was but quickly turned back when I seen DeVante looking down at us. I quickly wiped all my tears away and attempted to get myself together because I didnt want him to think he has this kind of power over my emotions. He cleared his throat nervously before speaking.

"Hey uh- Xina, can I talk to Izzy for a minute?" His deep voice spoke.

"Sure."

She hugged my head before getting up and heading back inside. I felt his body sit next to mine as I got a whiff of that same expensive cologne that I've grown to love so much these past few days.

"Izzy, Im sorry I came at you like that back there. That should've never happened and I feel like shit...," He sounded sincere. I didn't even look his way, I stared straight ahead because I knew the moment I did look at him, I would become nervous again.

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