Hell's Revelation (Book 3)

Chapter 33

"So, are you going to let me in on exactly what this big plan of yours is?" Lucas asked as we took off at a steady jog down the stone passageway.

"Nope," was all I offered in reply, a frown creasing my brow as I concentrated on the passing rooms and corridors. I knew where I was heading for, I just wasn't sure whether I'd find what I was looking for once I got there.

"Really! It's the least you could do y'know especially as this is an almost certain death kind of situation we're in here."

"Y'know I didn't ask you to come with me, Lucas. In fact I was quite set on the idea of going alone so you really don't need to come along, and you certainly don't need to be such a martyr about it." I stopped suddenly and looked at him. "And if I'm honest you wouldn't like it, and I can pretty much guarantee you'd try to talk me out of it. So let's just skip that part, okay?"

I turned away from his frown of concern and started walking again, my pace brisk but not quite the jog it had been before; as much as I didn't want him coming with me, I also didn't really want to leave him behind. I didn't want to be alone.

"Wait....wait, Rayne...you're not...stop!" Lucas grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face him again. His eyes met mine and I was hit with a pang of grief knowing that our gazes no longer matched. We weren't one and the same any more and it killed me that it had all been for nothing.

I shook my head, "Don't even say it, Lucas. If you say it I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do it."

"Can it even be done?Rayne, they're not like us, not like any of us. They're like the cockroaches that would go on living after the apocalypse."

"Oh don't be stupid Lucas, I'm not planning to try and kill Lucifer, or any of the Faces.I know it would never work. But if I can kill his hope, at least for a while, make him give up on this plan, set him back a few hundred years again. Maybe it'll give you all a chance."

I didn't say the words exactly, but I was pretty sure even Lucas couldn't miss the implication behind what I had said. It was a pretty crappy plan really as plans go, I'd had a lot of those just lately and this had really become a I've made my bed so I've got to lie in it kind of moment.

"Now who's being a Martyr?"

"Yes, I know, and that's kind of the point." I sighed. "They've got to believe it, and I mean truly believe it. I can work my mojo on all the lesser demons, Lucifer and the other Faces won't fall prey to that, but if I can make my little show convincing enough then perhaps they will believe too, at least for a while. If Malick is to be believed then Lucifer didn't fully understand this curse, virus, whatever the hell you want to call this thing our little ritual created, if I can convince them all that I and I alone am the key to its spread..."

I stopped there, not really wanting to voice aloud what I was thinking, what I was going to do. If I said the words out loud it might just be enough to put me off and I couldn't back out. One final thing I had to go though to make some kind of amends for the mess I'd managed to make of so many lives – not least my own.

"And if you're... not around any more then...." Lucas continued, not saying the words that hung ominously in the air between us.

"Yeah, with any luck it'll all be over."

"Rayne I...I don't know if I can watch you do this."

"Then don't." I stopped and took Lucas by the shoulders. "I don't think I can handle you there either. I need to do this, as much as it sucks it's the only way out that I can see and we're running out of time. I have to let go, of everything. If you're there then I'm still holding onto some hope that something will happen at the last minute, some kind of miracle that'll save all of our backsides and that kind of hope is dangerous. I need to hope for one thing and one thing only, that you, Jesse and his dad, hell even Frank get out of this place and figure out a way to live. At least I can hope you'll get the chance to."

Lucas grabbed me suddenly, his arms tight around my middle as he enclosed me in an uncharacteristic hug. I held him back, gripping just as tightly as if I could imprint the feel of him against me and take some comfort withme to the end.

"I love you, you know that right?" I muttered against his shoulder. "You're like the closest thing to family I'll ever know so you have to promise me you'll take care of yourself. Get out from under Lucifer's control and live the kind of life we both should've had. Promise me!"

"Okay, I promise. Shit even on the brink of death you're a nag."

His words hit me like a jolt of electricity, that one syllable we hadn't spoken out loud for fear of its impact and it slips out in a moment of jest. It hurt, but I also couldn't help the smile.

"Yes, well you'll miss it when I'm gone."

"I love you too Rayne, and I promise." He stepped away from me, dropping my hand sfrom his fingers and severing all contact between us for the very last time.

I nodded, "Good, now go. With any luck I'll keep this place occupied for long enough no one will even notice you're gone."

Then Lucas turned on his heel and ran. I watched him go for just a moment before turning in the opposite direction and continuing on my own mission with new determination. I couldn't save myself, but I sure as hell could save everyone else.