•°•Our Number 4•°•

•10•

I turned on all the lights in my house. There was no way I was getting any sleep tonight. I felt like he was just watching me from every crack in my house.

I looked out the window and saw it had been snowing, very heavily. This lifted my mood temporarily, as all those childhood memories flooded back. Times when I was happier. Before I met him.

I went back to my room and glanced over at my phone.

I should call Virgil. He won't mind.

But I knew I couldn't. He needed to rest, and I would only disturb him. But I really needed to talk to someone. But I had no one.

An eternity later I checked the time. It was 05:30 which was quite early to start getting ready, but I had nothing better to do. I wasn't surprised by the massive bags under my eyes when i looked in the mirror. I was so exhausted, I couldn't even be bothered to try to cover my insomnia with makeup.

It was -5° today and it was still snowing. I put on thermal under layers, and the put on some Jean's, a long sleeve top an oversized hoodie, and then a huge puffer jacket.

Soon enough, I was driving to work. I left a bit earlier, partly because I didn't want to be home alone anymore, but also to give me more time to drive to work.

When I got to the front desk, I bumped into Klopp.

"Oh sorry." I said.

"Sorry Ala- hey are you okay because I've been getting comments from some of the guys saying they're concerned about you. And please excuse me, but you look like you haven't slept for days."

"Yeah, everything is fine." I say, forcing a weak smile.

"Look, you might not want to talk to me, but please find someone you feel comfortable to talk with."

It was strange, because it was usually me giving the advice to people.

"I guess it is a bit hypocritical for me to tell people to express their feelings if I'm always bottling mine up." I laughed, and he chuckled softly.

"Anyway, keep up the good work. The guys seem to really like you. Especially one in particular." He said, his attention directed behind me. I smiled at him and he walked off.

I turned around to see Virgil, which instantly made me feel better.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine."

"Well come outside with me for a sec."

I followed him out into the freezing snow. But I was nervous after the letter I got. What if he saw us together and tried to hurt Virgil. And it would be all my fault.  I stood there fidgeting with my fingers trying to control my breathing.

"So what is it?" I said, and as I looked up, a snowball came flying at me.

"Virgil!" I yelled and made a snowball and threw it back at him. Despite the cold, it was fun and relaxing, just being able to mess around.

We went back and forth for a couple of minutes and it was great. But it was cut all too short. He came running up to me and as a joke I pushed him over. We were both laughing hysterically. All was fun until I felt his cold hand grab my ankle. I looked down, forgetting to breathe as he recited a line that will forever haunt my existence.

"Alaïah....how could you?"

I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek, which was soon followed by more.

"Alaïah?" Virgil said softly getting up.

I just stood in the same position, looking down. Frozen.