Bad Timing

Part 5

"I don't know what is wrong, but you need to stop running away from this, from me. You don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to. You don't even have to say anything. I don't want to watch you deal with this alone right now and I don't want to watch you run away again this time."

It was the Tuesday after the concert and since it was the school break, you decided to head to the school library after lunch (which was more of breakfast that day) for some studying before visiting the shelter to help out.

As you walked through the school gate you recalled your last conversation with Taehyung which happened here. You had not spoken to him after that day. Not even on the concert day. Everyone had crowded around him after the show, so you ended up sending him a text message instead saying he did well and that you actually really enjoyed the performances.

To your dismay, which you avoided acknowledging, there was no reply from Taehyung. Maybe he was busy or just too tired to reply. He has no obligation to reply to every one of your messages anyway.

As you walked towards the library you passed by the basketball courts and you were somewhat surprised to see Taehyung there, hanging out with his friends. You noticed them but immediately looked away and continued on your way pretending like you did not see them. They probably didn't notice you anyway.

Hardly ten minutes had passed after you settled down in a corner of the library, you tried so hard to focus on your notes but your mind constantly drifted away and you found yourself often distracted by the smallest movements around you or a buzz on your phone, mostly from Joy's messages. Unexpectedly, you received a call from an unknown number so you walked out of the library to pick up the call.

–

Your hands were shivering as you were rushing to pack up your things. Various thoughts were rushing through your head like bullets. You ran down the same pathway you took to the library, this time dashing out the gates.

As you frantically tried to hail a cab you did not pay attention to how dangerously close to the curb you were and just as you took the step which would have ended with you falling onto the road, possibly into some oncoming traffic, a hand grabbed your elbow, causing you to stumble back onto the walkway. "What the heck are you doing! Are you not going to watch where you are going?", an obviously exasperated Taehyung exclaimed at you.

"What's wrong? Are you trying to get a cab? Where are you going in such a fluster?", he asked as he could tell you were visibly shaken by something.

"Lula... she's lost... I need to go find her", you said in a trembling voice.

"What? How?"

"I'm not sure, Suzy said she had to be away last night and had to get a dog sitter to look after Lula and this morning when she came home, she was told that Lula was missing. Lula is so timid, where could she have gone, what if we can't find her, what if something bad happened to her...". Everything felt like a horrible déjà vu to you, it was all happening the same way again.

"Y/N, get a hold of yourself, call a cab to Suzy's house, I am going with you. I will call the shelter to see if anyone else can join us to look for her", Taehyung said calmly and firmly as he fished out his phone.

That instant, he didn't feel like the Kim Taehyung who was the popular friendly dancer in school, he just felt like... someone you wanted to depend upon.

–

It took the entire afternoon searching for Lula in the vicinity of Suzy's house, but it was well worth it because finally around evening, Lula was found in a park further down from Suzy's place. Lula had a bit of a limp on her right front leg. Jinhee was examining Lula at the shelter as you stood close by looking more sombre than necessary. The last time you experienced such a scene, it ended with Snowy lying motionlessly on the vet's table.

Eventually, Jinhee finished what she needed to do and said that Lula should stay the night at the shelter.

"It's ok Y/N, Jinhee will take care of Lula, let's just go back tonight. If you want to, we can come back tomorrow morning to check on her", it was then that you were reminded that Taehyung had been standing next to you throughout this whole ordeal.

You ended up walking back out to the bus stop with Taehyung reluctantly and this time, it was your turn to be lost in your thoughts. You wanted to confront Suzy about what exactly happened and how the dog sitter lost Lula. But what right do you have to do that?

"You don't look that great, do you want to sit down for a while?", Taehyung asked rather suddenly.

The truth was that you still felt rattled by the whole incident and you were grateful that he suggested this. "It's late though, you should go, I'll be fine", you answered without looking at him directly as you sat down on a bench along the sidewalk.

"What do you mean you are fine? You look like you are about to burst into tears anytime... and you've been looking like this for the whole time since this afternoon. Do you really expect me to walk off now leaving you like this here by yourself?", his words had annoyance but his tone was concerned.

"Taehyung ah... I'm really...", your voice was quivering but you wanted to tell him that he should go, because you didn't want him to see you like this anymore, because you felt like it would be a burden to him to share your emotions.

"I don't know what is wrong, but you need to stop running away from this, from me. You don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to. You don't even have to say anything. I don't want to watch you deal with this alone right now...", you could sense Taehyung knew you wanted to escape by yourself again and he was slightly annoyed at your attempt.

"..., and I don't want to watch you run away again this time."

There was a long pause in between.

"But if it was my fault, do I still have a right to cry?", you asked hesitantly, still holding on to the last bit of stubbornness.

"How is this your fault...", Taehyung said and he may have noticed that you were not talking about the incident today anymore because he abruptly stopped before adding, "... even if it was your fault, you still have the right to cry."

You looked at him tentatively, he doesn't even know what the heck you were talking about.

"Because that is probably how sorry you are for your mistake and how much you desire to make up for what happened", he said as his gaze on you softened a little.

You let the first tear escape your eyes while you were still looking up at Taehyung.

Indeed, you wanted to make up for it, but why is it that no matter what you did, it did not feel like it was ever enough?

At last, you started sobbing. A lot. Taehyung walked towards you, where you were now burying your head in your hands, trying to hide the tears. He knelt down on one knee in front of you, his hands gently patting you on your back.

"On this rainy night, what is your umbrella? The voice that responds when you call. Memories of seeing the same thing at the same time. The first time you matched each other's pace. Did someone come to mind? Yes, that is the person."

You called inaudibly and he responded. The emotions you kept to yourself but he saw them. You were not prepared to share it, so he waited.

Now, he was shielding you from the rain that was your tears.

Therefore, in this moment, just these few moments, you wanted to be allowed to rely on your umbrella, to not be standing alone in the rain.