Aftertaste | ✔️

a million times over

Lea stared listlessly down the endless hallway, at the tunnel that seemed to go down down down with no end in sight.

The hallway had always been like this, even before Claire, she mused, painstakingly putting one foot before the other. Small, slow steps, like the therapist had said.

Step. Pause. Step. Pause. Steppausesteppausestepstepstep.

"Lea! Lea!"

She almost snarled as she came face to face with Scarlett Ryder.

Scarlett Ryder. Claire had loved her just as much as she'd loved Lea.

Lea remembered being stupidly jealous that Claire loved her more, even when she'd taken her hand and assured her that her best friend always came first.

Lea had hated Scarlett on sight. She'd hated her magnetism, all the things that made her attractive to Claire. She'd hated them as much as Claire loved them. Hated her red lipstick and her ripped jeans and her hooded eyes and her drawling voice.

She had told Claire, over and over again. But for the first time in her life, Claire wasn't hearing their secret language.

It was Scarlett this. Scarlett that. Scarlett everything. Because somehow, she became Claire's everything.

Having a best friend's heart broken somehow hurts worse than your own. Claire's heart didn't deserve to be broken. Claire's heart was wild, free. It loved like she did, without inhibitions or regret. Without shame.

Claire's heart was as beautiful as her, and as rare, and Lea would sacrifice her own a million times over if it meant she didn't have to see her best friend drown in the weight of her own love.

Scarlett Ryder. Cold, callous Scarlett Ryder. She'd ruined Claire. She'd ruined Lea. She'd ruined everything.

Lea suppressed the urge to slap Scarlett, if only because Claire would be heartbroken if she saw her own best friend ever touch her.

"What do you want?" she hissed, surprising herself with the amount of hatred in her voice. She took a step back.

"I... flowers" Scarlett held up a bouquet of pond lillies. "I wanted to put them in her locker, but I couldn't open it. I left a few things outside."

Lea followed Scarlett's gaze to the locker. Pictures decorated every single inch of free space.

Not pictures of Scarlett and Claire, but Lea and Claire, the way she'd always wanted.

They were all over the little metal door, turning boring green into a splash of color that made people turn around to look. They turned heads. Claire loved turning heads; she would've basked in the attention.

And right in the middle of it all, there was the two of them. Inseparable. Making faces. Baking. Gardening. Smilingcryinghugging.

The hallway had always been an endless tunnel, Lea realized. But before Claire, there had been a reason to walk into the pitch black.

She turned back to Scarlett, fresh hatred burning in her heart. Hatred that spilled out of her eyes like concentrated acid.

Scarlett sighed and shoved the flowers into her arms.

"You might want to consider, Lea, that you're not the only one who misses her."

She looked like she was going to say something else, but then she shook her head and walked away, her shoulders slumping. Lea considered.

She dropped the flowers.

As soon as she was out of sight, Lea tore down all the pictures.

Every. Single. One.