ruined perfection || drarry [DISCONTINUED]

Our Little Miracles

(Harry's POV)
(Italics represent thoughts)
(6 months later)

Helena had been staying with Draco and Harry for the past two weeks so him and Draco could drive her to hospital when her water broke. Harry had taken this week off of work so he could keep Helena and make sure she was okay. Harry had also been looking after the 4 week old chick he bought. Harry had named the chick Bert and he had already built a coop for him outside for when the chick was old enough to live outside in a weeks time. Draco didn't approve of the name but he became quite attached to Bert. Draco even started hinting that maybe they should get another chick to keep Bert company. Harry reminded Draco that they would be having a child any day now and they should probably focus more on their baby than another baby chick.

On the evening of the 29th of November, Harry had made him, Draco and Helena a lasagne and watched a movie of Helena's choice. Every night, they alternated between who chose the movie.Helena had picked out Titanic. Draco had never seen Titanic before and by the end of the movie he kept muttering 'There was enough room for Jack'. Harry and Helena laughed between themselves as Draco tried to figure out why Jack didn't get on the wood that Rose was on. Draco and Harry washed up the dishes and they all went to bed. Helena was staying in the spare room which was across the landing from Harry's and Draco's. During the day, Harry had noticed a look of discomfort across Helena's face every now and then. He was going to ask about it but she looked okay when he said goodnight to her.

Harry pretended to be asleep next to Draco. He was struggling to get to sleep because memories kept flashing in and out of his head. Draco would stay up all night with Harry if he knew Harry couldn't get to sleep and Harry didn't want to disturb Draco. Once he was sure Draco was asleep, Harry sat up in bed and fiddled with his fingers, waiting for the memories to go. He couldn't fall asleep because a nightmare would invade his sleep. Harry hated having nightmares, they found the darkest memories and brought them alive. Nightmares played around with Harry's memories, twisting them, making them worse than they were before. Much worse. When Harry woke, he would have to be alone with his knees to his chest. Any noise set alarm bells off in his head. Tears would be streaming down his face, reminding him of what he had experienced. He wanted to be comforted by someone or something but his body told him no. He couldn't trust anyone. Anyone could hurt him. Harry didn't want nightmares anymore but he couldn't control them. He didn't want flashbacks anymore but he couldn't control them. Harry didn't want to feel the pain of the past anymore but he couldn't control it. They controlled him. They told him what to do, what not to do, what to feel, when to feel, how to feel and Harry couldn't stop it. Harry had told Draco how bad it was when they first moved in together but Harry had no idea if Draco still knew they were that bad. Harry saw how concerned and worried Draco got after Harry had a nightmare. Draco wanted to help but Harry's mind told him to push Draco away because you can't trust anyone. Harry was thinking about how much he wanted to let Draco in during his dark moments but whether he could learn to, he didn't know.

"Harry?" A small voice whispered, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Helena? Is that you?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Helena answered, cradling her bump.

Harry got out if bed and walked over to her. "Are you okay?"

"Harry, my water broke..." Helena said quietly.

"Shit, um, okay." Harry was panicking, he needed to think. "Do you need a hospital bag or something?"

"I've already packed one, it's by my bedside table."

"I'll get that, sit down on the bed." Harry said.

Harry ran  into the spare room and grabbed Helena's hospital bag. This was really happening, he was going to have a child soon. A child. Harry couldn't believe it. Harry ran back into his room. He saw Helena with a look of pain in her face. He ran over to her.