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max (aka me-) being depressed

based off this video⬆️

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neil: if you can switch lives with anybody in this room, who would you switch lives with?

max: i would pick david

neil: why pick david

max: because he's probably gonna die soon

gwen: what the fuck

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max: everything ends up sucking. for example, my first birthday my mom gave me my life. i liked it at first when it was shiny and brand new. now it fucking sucks, i wish she'd take it back

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david: have you ever done anything fun for your birthday?

max: one of my birthdays i went shark fishing with my dad. it took a really long time to find the shark so i got really sad. then when the sharks finally showed up, i jumped in the water and they didn't eat me so i was even more sad

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gwen: do you know how many people would ffffucking kill another person to be you?! i would fucking kill david to be you

max: why not fucking kill me to be me?

neil: max, to be honest, i would want to be you

max: why?

neil: because it would be a fun challenge to get myself out of the little rut you're in

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neil: i feel like you need to find something fun to do, like would you ever go skydiving?

max: well, i went once and it sucked

neil: what do you mean it sucked?

max: well they made me wear a parachute-

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neil: i didn't know you moisturized

max: i don't, i tried killing myself by drinking this once

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nikki: since you're always so sad why don't you work in a sad place? like a funeral home?

max: i feel like i'd get too jealous in a funeral home

nikki: too jealous of what?

max: all the people dying-

nikki: *laughing* no!

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preston: if you could be any character from any superhero movie, who would you be?

max: spiderman's uncle

preston: spiderman's uncle died

max: i know, i cry everytime i get to that part

preston: *chuckles* why?

max: because i wish it was me

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max [singing]: be on the wrestling team~ but i broke my knee and ever since then i've been slip~ing into an ever deeper~ crippling anxiety~ and i have this de~pression, it makes me real sad, every single fuckin' day i'm feel supa bad and i really wanna kill myself some times and i'm sorry but i don't know how to rhyme, anything other than what i'm feeling inside~ oooh~ i'm talking 'bout the sadness that i feel and i know-

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nikki: if someone came to you and said we're gonna kill your mother or you give up alcohol for the rest of your life, what would you do?