Transgender ftm journal

When I Was Kinda Happy

21/10/14

Hi! Today I'm gonna tell who ever is even reading this, about my life before I even realised what I was feeling and when I was kinda happy.

I lied about not realising what I was feeling. I've always felt like I am not a girl. I will explain a little later.

So this all started on the 4th of July 2001 when a baby girl named......(no way in hell will I put my name on here) was born. My mum loved loved loved dresses and sparkles and all of that girly stuff, so she dressed me in all that. By the time I was 2 I knew that I didn't want to be wearing dresses and sparkles. I wanted to be wearing what my brother was wearing but I just put on what ever my mum put out for me to wear. I grew up trying to fit in as a girly girl, wearing dresses in ever occasion and extremely short shorts and skirts. I got to the age 8 before I got extremely depressed about what I was wearing. I never let it show. I always said to myself "live in the moment and don't give your mind a chance to talk" and so I went like that for another 2 years, parents not noticing anything wrong with me. 10 years old I put a stop to the girly outfits. I wore knee length shorts and big t shirts when ever I was allowed. I was to scared to ask for a haircut even tho I was dying to get one. At the primary school I went to they had a uniform policy. It was a private school and it made all the girls wear dresses and the boys, shorts and a polo shirt. I loved sport because it was the only time I could wear shorts and a t shirt without getting in trouble.

Yeah so that it. Those were basically the only times when I was even slightly happy.

Don't get me wrong. I have supportive parents who love me lots and all. Even if they don't understand

Bye until next time which who even knows when that will be