Transgender ftm journal

Hello

01/03/15

Hi there. It's been a real long time hasn't it!
Not much has happened actually. I've started school again. Made some new friends somehow and started to really get into this game. It's called fiesta online NA. It's a free mmo!! It's a really fun game and I have met soo many ppl on there. It's great because you can totally be yourself on there and no one knows it's you. So I've been having fun on that game!!

Meanwhile, 'pretending' to be 'normal' is actually going good. My parents are acting differently with the knowledge that I'm just an ordinary girl. But it's getting really hard to deal with and it really really hurts. I know I can hold on for longer, maybe a couple of years or so, but then I need to do something about it, with or without my parents supporting. I don't get it, why did they act the way they did and not treat me the same as I was. Even though they said that they'll love me no matter what. I could just sit here and type away that i Balme them for everything I've done to myself, but that's not fair. How can it be their fault for not understanding this properly? Or trying to get me to stop? They are just human. And I can't blame them for anything. If that even makes sense o.o

I'm still teaching myself guitar and it's going really good. I've just finished learning mad world. It's such an amazing song and I feel like I can really relate to it. I'm gonna try and learn another song. Sam smith looks fun to play, so maybe I'll learn like stay with me or I'm not the only one.

There's only 5 weeks left until a 2 week break from school. I cannot wait. Schools only just started and I'm already over it. I chose art to do this year. That was a mistake. It is so bad it's not funny. Did you know you got art homework? Shading in fact. I though this class would just be relaxing, sit down and learn to draw. Not a full on class. We had homework due 4/5 weeks ago which I haven't even started. So that's a lunchtime detention. I don't really care.

I've just finished reading an A-MA-ZING book. It is Gone by Michael Grant. It is so good. I read it in one day, laying on the floor with my feet up on the kitchen counter. I'm not gonna say much about it because that would be spoiling. But seriously I couldn't get enough of it. And theres quite a few books in the series. Around 6/7.

So yea enough of me talking. I hope you are well!! And I'll see you next time, which hopefully won't be in like 2 months.
Byeeee