Obsessed With Obsession

•The Past Hurts Even More•

ᑕᕼᗩᑭTᗴᖇ TᗯᗴᑎTY-Oᑎᗴ: Tᕼᗴ ᑭᗩᔕT ᕼᑌᖇTᔕ ᗴᐯᗴᑎ ᗰOᖇᗴ

THE NEXT MORNING, Leo and I wake up in the same bed that we fell asleep in—my bed. His arm tucked under my messy head, and his everything pressed against my back. His front keeping my backside warm along with the thick blanket covering our bodies.

Last night was a rollercoaster of emotions that I can't paint a clear image to. We went from Leo eating his dessert, to Scarlett barging in and bringing the past up, which causes me to ball my eyes out, and then back to more oral. Not that I minded the oral and dessert part, but it was the wrong order to go about things.

I got to thinking about everything and convinced myself that I really am seducing Leo. I'm such a terrible person for giving my body to an older man that is so kind and sweet. He's an amazing person, and I am corrupting him with my filthy body and heart. But I'm selfish. I'm so selfish and loving Leo is something I cannot let go of so easy.

Because of this, I decide to go talk to my brother about leaving here, already knowing he's not going to let me go. This decision being just as hard for him as me letting go of my love. So with a gentle push off the bed, I'm up and Leo is still fast asleep. He is a light sleeper but last night he didn't get enough z's trying to comfort me. The least I can do is let him catch up on the lost hours of sleep while I talk to my big brother.

Getting dressed, I pick the most comfortable outfit I can find. Which happens to be a pair of my old joggers with a bright blue t-shirt that match the black fabric. I feel homeless and dirty from not showering and honestly that was my goal.

When I finally get out of the house, I haven't changed my slippers nor have I done my hair. The strands are sitting against my head in all different direction when passing a store window on the walk there. Grimacing as I check my phone, the time reads ten o'clock in the morning. My stomach growls but I edge forward to get there before I change my mind.

I am almost there when I check my phone one last time, and that causes me to bump into someone. Falling backwards on my ass, I don't see who bumped into me. My eyes are closed tight from a sharp pain shooting through my back. I wince as the shadow of the guy who bumped me to the ground reaches his hand out to help me up. He apologizes and I swear I have heard that voice before.

Opening my eyes, I can't quite see the face of the man with helpful hands, but his build is familiar too. I can't pinpoint the name or face until I'm standing up and he's asking if I'm okay and I see his face. He's still as handsome as ever.

He's speaking my first language but I can't listen to the words. My eyes are tearing up and I'm yanking my hand away. Why is he here? What is he doing outside of my brothers building?

His beautiful chocolate eyes make me feel somber as he realizes it's me. His features don't shift to angry; they actually look sad much like mine. Those fascinating brown eyes full of guilt and regret as he bows multiple apologies. One bow for bumping into me, another for making me fall, and then more for the past. The past somehow hurting even more as he keeps bowing. I touch his shoulder gently but quickly pull my hand away, scared of him suddenly. He sees my fingers move away fast and looks more sorrowful than before.

"I'm so sorry, Kanto." His Japanese words should be comforting and I should be forgiving him but I can't. It hurts too much. "I hope my actions almost a year ago didn't hurt you too bad. I didn't realize what I did until it was too late."

I wanted to yell at him but his puppy eyes forbid me. His fluffy hair forsakes me to the depths of my mind, not speaking one word out of my mouth. His beauty glues me to this spot and tapes my aching lips closed. I want to hurt him like he hurt me but my voice comes out as a whisper.

"I was in the hospital for a few weeks," the whisper sounding lower than expected. This feeling in my chest is not a favorite of mine. "I'm sorry I kissed you by the way."

"Don't be," and I'm now confused. This guy, who called me names such as faggot and fruitcake, doesn't want me to kiss him and beats me to a pulp, but he tells me don't be sorry. "That kiss made me realize that I like boys."

Oh. There it is. The truth finally spills out and I can't talk. I want to say "good for you" or "I'm happy for you" but the words won't form. My mouth won't open to say them, so I nod. He was my first love and I feel all the feelings flush back into my heart, but Leo's space won't budge. He stays in my heart only leaving a little corner for Marcus.

"Here," Marcus says slipping a piece of paper into my hand. He must have written when I was zoned out. "This is my number. I owe you a proper apology. Call me because I would like to keep in touch. I miss having you as a friend and I know it must me hard from everything, but I will make it up to you. I have to go now but please don't hate me. Goodbye, Kanto. I'm sorry again."

Without anything else, Marcus walks away turning around once to wave. I suck in a breathe and watch as his silhouette disappears in the bright sun, thinking about if I really should call him or not. Forgive him or regret not forgiving him. Decisions, decisions.