Ze Extra Stuff

Mirror

She smiles like always. Good day she had. But that doesn't stop It. It ate her on the inside. A parasite out to destroy her.

She had given It to much power.
'Im weak' was her only thought.

But she still held her head high. For she didn't want no one to see her mind.

She looked in the mirror now. She saw a pretty face. That was the only good thing about her. Everything other than that was something all people had.

She looked away feeling It crawl up from the depths. She went back to bed.

She didn't deserve this bed, she thought, she didn't deserve anything she had. She was wasting all the time that was spent on her. Now, instead of someone happy and grateful, they got a hollowed out space.

She looked in the mirror again, her wide shoulders made her look like a guy. Her mother had said it meant she would protect. But she didn't like them.

She sat down and looked down. Her smile lost to the sands of her mind. A clone shown.

She looked at herself and reminded herself.
How fat she was.

She looked away now.

'I'm a waste of time. They should...'

She didn't know anymore.
She was a disappointment.
She felt a dagger go through her chest. Not real, but she ,in a small part of her, hoped it was.

The pain in her chest, almost unbearable. She looked alright on the outside.

'You're such a fudging 14 year old girl.'

She looked in the mirror now. Her fat face now not looking pretty.

She laughed in pain. She was insane, she wasn't ok. But what could she do?

She was disappointing everyone. In some small way at least. She blamed herself in to many ways. Calling herself a "basic" and "horrible person.

She wanted someone to see what she felt. But at the same time no.

She didn't want to look in the mirror this time. Everything she did wasn't up to her standards.

She didn't cry. She didn't know how to. She was weak, a hypocrite for her own words.

She went to pick her clothes out for the next day.

The words "kurwa " popped up. She wrote this down. Disgusted at herself.

But what could she do?

She hated to write down bad words. But... no she would delete it later.

She felt nothing but at the same time... everything.

She wanted to throw her black blob of a soul across the room. But she still wanted to feel.

It whispered many profanities into her head.

She went to sleep, her out to this situation.

When she woke up, still the same.

She hadn't fallen down to deep. She hoped to stay that way.

She knew she wouldn't.
But she kept on going. Seeing how strong and weak she was.

I looked in the mirror now. Same feeling, same disgust.

But the start of today, gave me purpose. Purpose to make my friends laugh.

Purpose to kept on writing and going.

Purpose to defeat It. With Blue and all.

Holding my weapon, I will protect my people. My wide shoulders, as bad as they are, give them protection.

So thank you.

Yo no dejo a mi gente atrás. Sonrió para ustedes. Discúlpenme, por favor. Bye, que tengan un buen día or noche yo no se.