You Have Me

Ch.5

"Don't cry B. I'll protect you from mom and daddy. They just don't understand, okay? I don't either, but that's okay, because,you're my B. And I'm your big sister." 

I don't think, even Lilly, can protect me from my fathers' angry slaps or his shoving, because in this house, I've always been the punching bag.

"I know you're scared, and I am too. But I'm here, and I'll look after you. I may not be able to protect you from what you're feeling, but I can try and protect you from daddy."

And fuck, I'd wish she'd stop calling him 'daddy'. The term sounds endearing and almost frightening.

"You promise, Lilly. You promise, you won't leave me?

"Always."

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"Beth?... Harry, what do we do? Shit, what if she's having a seizure! Who do-"

"Shut up Lou!"

My head hurts and the room isn't spinning anymore, and I think I've just had a dream. A really vivid dream, where I was seventeen again and Lilly had her long hair, and fuck, she liked me. And I want to go back to that. But I don't think I'm going anywhere. Because there's arms holding me and a hand is cupping my cheek.

"Beth? Can you hear me? Come on babe, open your eyes for me." I don't want to though. I feel good right now. My head might be aching but the voice I hear is soothing, and the hand feels unbelievably nice, against my warm skin.

I do what they ask in then end and slowly I open my eyes and I notice that we're back in our room. The guys are here and so is Louis who has his arm wrapped around a tall brunette. She's almost too pretty and she's standing awkwardly clutching his bicep.

Great. Another person, I don't fucking know.

I look up and realize, well More like confirm, that the arms, holding me belong to Harry, and oh. Okay. "There she is." He smiles and sighs. I think he's relieved or maybe winded. I don't think I'm the lightest thing in the world.

"What happened?"

"You bloody went down on us, is what happened." Zayn says. He doesn't sound angry, but his voice is a little shaky. Niall seems to be clinging onto Liam for dear life, and Louis looks considerably younger, with his scared face. And Harry....oh Harry, he looks like he's about ready to burst into tears, and that makes me want to cry along with him. But then I remember-

"Lilly! She's here...and I had a dream....she had long hair.....she said she couldn't protect me from what I was feeling?....and then...fuck! Something else happened..."

"It's good, you remembering things," Harry tells me, as I'm looking around trying to find my estranged sister.

"Where's Lilly?"

Harry's jaw tightens, to the point where I think his teeth might turn to dust. "She's outside. I wanted to make sure you were fine before I let her anywhere near you." And....what? I want to be mad. I want to argue, saying that having my sister here, is a good thing. Because-because maybe, it'll help me remember faster. But by the way Harry and the rest of the boys seem to be on alert around Lilly, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough being around her. Which is ridiculous, right? She's my damn sister. I should trust her, without question right?

And I'm so lost, because I don't.

"It's just one thing," I say, referring back to Harry's praise about my small dream. I had half-hoped everything would come back but so far I'm not even sure it even happened.

"One thing is a start," Louis says from across the room, and I look up startled because i hadn't even realised Louis was listening. The awkward beauty just standing next to him. I bet, she even has a pretty name.